I'm not really sure where to start, but ill begin this story by saying that, no matter what i love you at the same time i hate you.
(most of you might think that im talking abt a guy but its actually abt a gurl, my ex bestfriend)
Once upon a time, i used to have a bestfriend whom i loved and cherish so much. We were friends for 4 years, we would have our sides arguement along the way. But we're only human. She was the person that i really loved and treasured. In the end, its all full of shit!! I mean, i showered her with tender, love and care. I helped her with many things in her life. Including, money issues. Plus, she never had self-confidence and she always thought of herself as an ugly girl. Of course at that time, i told her she's not. Plus, she had a problem with her smell and everything else. I know you might be mad cause im basically broadcasting it to the whole world. But why the heck do i care, since you're like living your life when you already screwed up mine to the max. I hope you are happy for what you've done. I cant believe you did that to me. I regret doing all those things for you. But at the same time, i'm happy cuz i know now that im able to help people with mental problems. It's unbelieveable after how much things ive shared with her and how much things we've discovered, she could still ignore me in the end and practically left me hanging to find out what was going on. It was just pure stupidity of how she didnt want to confront me and i just had to bring myself to her level and cried to her feet and ask her what was going on. I've never in my life done that nor will i do it again for any cause. It's pretty unfair for me to be left alone, and just not do anything. When this happens to you, then you know how i feel. It happens so fast like a lightning strike my house and it got burnt down in like a few seconds. Wherever she's standing right now, its all thanks to me. I know im praising myself but its the truth. Ive discovered that there's nomore truth in this world. Noone in this world is original anymore. Everything has been said and done. I've always admired my ex bestfriend but because, she did this to me i actually hate her. I always see her walking around in school thinking that she's all that. But i know in the inside her insecurities will eventually shadow her fake image. I'm hurt to know that she's actually alright and not feel a single bit of regret in herself of what she has done to me. But who am i to say this right? I know its not right, but i am so bitter to most things in the world right now just because of her. I'm not able to trust anybody that easily and plus, she's spoke about me to my friends. How dumb can you be? For god sake, why cant anyone love me as much as i love them? But i've found out the few friends that i can trust. and i hope that the trust and honesty would stay there forever. Its really a sad thing. this kinda seemed like self-pity bullshit. Yeah i guess thats what im doing, atleast im admitting it. I dont really have another way to express this. I went through depression for 2 weeks in a row. I may look happy in school and other places. When i settle down in a quiet place, in my room, i'd start thinking about her and just think that almost all of my memories are with her. Thats one of the things that also hurt me. Is just the thought of it hurts me as if ive fallen deep into a hole and can never climb back up. I lost most of my friends in school because of her. Thanks to her mouth which is so dirty, filthy and stinky. I hate you, nini!! I would never forgive you for what you've done to me. I will never be able to see us being friends ever again even if you kneel down and kiss me feet. It'll never happen. I just hate you so much to the extend that i feel like killing you. I'm sorry guys, if you read this im sure you can just feel the anger and tragic in it. But thats what its all about.
-dkm
