It doesn't matter about anything in this world. All I know is that I wanted to give up on you. I did. But it hit me that, I might not want to give up. I don't want to lose or regret anything in my life anymore. I know I have been nothing but bad to you. I know that you don't believe in second chances. It's hard for me to show you that I am changing for you. I don't want to say that I am exactly changing for YOU but I am changing for the better because of you.
I noticed that, you can't appreciate the good if you don't see the bad. I have everything I want and I am not going to ask for anymore. I've got a good life, people around me who loves, good education, good food served on the table, family in awesome condition, good wealth and there's just many more to say.. What more can I ask for? Honestly in my heart I want you but I think if I have that, it'll be too much for me to handle.
Each day, there is a period time where I think of you. It's not a crime but I feel guilty everytime I do think of you. I want to let you know that I would always love you no matter what comes in between us. Everyone can go on talking shit about me to you. It's your decision to whether you want to listen to it or not. Peoples' mouth would always run like water. It'll be like the sea which has no ends around the world. That's what this world is all about.
Everytime you accuse me of being a slut. It hurts me but I know deep down in your heart you know the truth. The truth being that I am not. I am pure and I want to keep it that way for you. You were my first love and vice versa for you. I keep on thinking on the days where we used to spend so much time together. I thought that was love all about. Now I know that love is all about what's in the heart. As long as your heart has got good intentions that you are on the right side. If you really love that one person, you'd want him or her to be happy all the time. I wonder.. when that happens, if the other partner is not happy; is it fair?
Unbalanced is one of the most risky thing in love. It's true what they say, it's hard to describe the meaning of love. There are no perfect definition for love. Love shouldn't be listed in the dictionary because the meanings can go beyond recognition. You may call me emotional for all I care. People out there are so happy to see me in misery but the day would come for them. Once it have, I would be standing in front of you and comforting you.
I've had enough of being a bad person. The people in this world can do anything they want. Atleast I know myself that I have changed for the better and I hope slowly everyone would see it too. Tears are dried up, I've had enough of my life being so low at the core. I'm going to rise back up to the surface and prepare myself for more things to come in the future.
-dkm
