Deena is back in blogging moments. Many things has happen since I've disappeared the blogging scene. There are many ups and downs, but that's life isn't it? We would just have to live with it. I'm going to be very brief on each topic.
BaLi trip with Ryzal, Lira & Johan.
It was fun. I shopped a lot. Bought things for everybody back at home. Went to the beach. Had my hair braided plus the hair extension. It was really heavy at first but I got used to it. Didn't eat much over there, since we had to pay for ourselves and I wanted to shop more than I eat. So I saved money on eating and went for shopping. Thus, everyone was eating all the cuisines that I didn't quite like. Went clubbing every night and was laughing. Ryzal allowed me to drink and smoke cigar. It was weird but that's it.
Thailand, Kharabi Island with Mama & Ezzat.
I have to say that, it was boring but it got fun after a few hours. As we reached there, we thought maybe some cheap car would pick us up from the airport, instead a volkswagen van picked us up. I was surprised at the fact that volkswagon produced vans. When we got into it, it was so comfortable. The journey from the airport to the port was 2 hours. I had fun sleeping. We got to the island but a boat. Life was like a royalty when we were there. There's a lot more but I'm lazy to tell...
-dkm
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Second day! *pfft*
We all woke up at 12pm. Ryzal and johan were planning to go swimming. So they disturbed Lira and I to wake up and go with them. I was forced to go with them with my period cramp. I went to put on my clothes and was ready to go swimming. Lira and I were hungry since we didn't eat breakfast. We went for lunch and straight after that we went Go carting. As we were racing my leg got stuck at the brak pedal. I got really nervous and drifted through out the circuit. I am still alive though. We raced and I won second place. It was fun!!
I went to a salon to check out the manicure and stuff. Instead of doing manicure, I did braids for my hair. I did hair extentsions too. It took them 6 hours to finish it up. I got really restless and annoyed at everything. But it looks nice now. Coincidencely, farah did it too. Just simple twins!!
We had dinner at a mexican restaurant called Chi Chi's. It was nice. I ate Fajitas. I was so stuffed after that. After dinner we went to the same club as we did the day before.
-dkm
I went to a salon to check out the manicure and stuff. Instead of doing manicure, I did braids for my hair. I did hair extentsions too. It took them 6 hours to finish it up. I got really restless and annoyed at everything. But it looks nice now. Coincidencely, farah did it too. Just simple twins!!
We had dinner at a mexican restaurant called Chi Chi's. It was nice. I ate Fajitas. I was so stuffed after that. After dinner we went to the same club as we did the day before.
-dkm
Friday, August 19, 2005
Bali here I come..
In a few hours I would be on the plain off to Bali, Indonesia. I am not too excited. It would be a really sad departure. I have spent the whole night with Izzat. I had fun driving around with him in the car. He got a bit scared though. My driving is still quite reckless. But nothing happened. Thank god. I know I would miss Izzat so much when I'm there. Plus, I'm not going to see my sister until next month. This is such a fucked up timing to go anywhere. I made Izzat stay with me the whole night. He didn't have time to study and he has his trials tomorrow. I know I am a bad girlfriend. I can't help it though. It was really hard for me to let go of him just now.
I haven't completed my packing yet. I still haven't put in my toiletries and my 'blankiee'. I can't leave that here. I'm afraid that if I were to be rushed tomorrow, I will forget about it. I'm still thinking of whether to bring my labtop there or not. I really can't live without it. I'm not sure what else I have to bring. I need to make a list and make sure everything would go smooth. The last thing I want is to get screamed by my brother. Our flight is in the afternoon. I won't get to see Izzat. It's a 50% chances that I would get to speak to him. I think he would be in his examination hall. It's ok.
I'm pretty insecure about leaving Izzat here in Malaysia. Considering the incident that happened with his last one. He can do the same to me at anytime. I trust him though. Although, I didn't allow him to go to a party this saturday. The reason is too long for me to type right now. My eyes are closing. I'm exhausted. Need to get everything ready by tomorrow. I can't believe that I am going to Bali tomorrow. I made the biggest mistake of wanting to go. I should have just stayed back in Malaysia. I know I won't have much fun. Thus, I won't be able to smoke that much. Ryzal is going to be around like 24/7. Damn it!! What else? I'm restricted to do many things. I forgot about Yazmin's coming trip to Bali next month. I should chose her. Oh well, I guess I need to make the best of it.
I'm not allowed to shop that much though. Mama is being a bitch. Just like today at dinner, I don't understand why she has to be stingy with the money. It's not as if she doesn't have a lot of it. Papa wanted to give me rm100. He didn't have small change. But abang did. So they gave me rm50. I made my puppy face and gave papa some funny reasons, mama was making it such a big deal. I was just like, shut up woman!! Pissing me off. It was the same thing yesterday at dinner too. They were all screaming at me in front of Izzat. I was embarassed, of course. Due to the reason that I'm going to be sixteen soon and they still have no respect for me.
I guess, that's it for today. I didn't do much. Kakak, ezzat, izzat and I went to watch Charlie and the chocolate factory! It was awesome. Johnny depp looked hot! Loved him!! I enjoyed myself with all. I miss hanging out with kakak a lot. I forgot about the times we used to hang out in the toilet. Now that she is working hard to get what she wants. She is really busy and have no time. I don't blame her. I will get to hang out with her one day. Soon enough. I will post up more once I'm back from bali. I won't forget to put up the pictures too. That's it for now. I'm off to do my list for what to bring. In case I forget. You know me. Ok bye!!
-dkm
I haven't completed my packing yet. I still haven't put in my toiletries and my 'blankiee'. I can't leave that here. I'm afraid that if I were to be rushed tomorrow, I will forget about it. I'm still thinking of whether to bring my labtop there or not. I really can't live without it. I'm not sure what else I have to bring. I need to make a list and make sure everything would go smooth. The last thing I want is to get screamed by my brother. Our flight is in the afternoon. I won't get to see Izzat. It's a 50% chances that I would get to speak to him. I think he would be in his examination hall. It's ok.
I'm pretty insecure about leaving Izzat here in Malaysia. Considering the incident that happened with his last one. He can do the same to me at anytime. I trust him though. Although, I didn't allow him to go to a party this saturday. The reason is too long for me to type right now. My eyes are closing. I'm exhausted. Need to get everything ready by tomorrow. I can't believe that I am going to Bali tomorrow. I made the biggest mistake of wanting to go. I should have just stayed back in Malaysia. I know I won't have much fun. Thus, I won't be able to smoke that much. Ryzal is going to be around like 24/7. Damn it!! What else? I'm restricted to do many things. I forgot about Yazmin's coming trip to Bali next month. I should chose her. Oh well, I guess I need to make the best of it.
I'm not allowed to shop that much though. Mama is being a bitch. Just like today at dinner, I don't understand why she has to be stingy with the money. It's not as if she doesn't have a lot of it. Papa wanted to give me rm100. He didn't have small change. But abang did. So they gave me rm50. I made my puppy face and gave papa some funny reasons, mama was making it such a big deal. I was just like, shut up woman!! Pissing me off. It was the same thing yesterday at dinner too. They were all screaming at me in front of Izzat. I was embarassed, of course. Due to the reason that I'm going to be sixteen soon and they still have no respect for me.
I guess, that's it for today. I didn't do much. Kakak, ezzat, izzat and I went to watch Charlie and the chocolate factory! It was awesome. Johnny depp looked hot! Loved him!! I enjoyed myself with all. I miss hanging out with kakak a lot. I forgot about the times we used to hang out in the toilet. Now that she is working hard to get what she wants. She is really busy and have no time. I don't blame her. I will get to hang out with her one day. Soon enough. I will post up more once I'm back from bali. I won't forget to put up the pictures too. That's it for now. I'm off to do my list for what to bring. In case I forget. You know me. Ok bye!!
-dkm
First day in Bali...
I arrived at the airport at 5pm. Our flight was at 1.50pm. As we got there, all of us had sleepy faces on. I slept the whole way in the plane. Couldn't care to wake up and eat. When I got into the plane, I already missed Kakak and Ezzat.
When we got to the hotel, I started to take a lot of pictures. I do that a lot when I'm bored. I'm pretty vain, I have to say. Abang brought 4 walkie-talkies and we all had fun playing around with it. We kinda got used to saying the word 'over' after every sentence. It was fun with it though. We saved a lot of money.
When dinner came, we had it at a restaurant called Macaronni. Italian cuisine!! eeeww!! I didn't like it. I ate pepperoni pizza. That's the only thing I know how to eat. I didn't know what to order. Plus, over there I had to go to toilet like every few minutes. One of the reasons were because I needed to go to and the other one is *ahem*ahem*. I'm sure most of you could figure it out.
On our first day in Bali, we went to a club called M Bar Go. It was alright. Many aussie, english and balinese!! Not cute nor handsome! A waste of time going there. Some of the surfers boys were really hot. I have to admit that the bartender working there was cute too! Unfortunately, he is too old! Too bad for me huh.
One weird thing was that, my brother allowed me to drink. I know it was wrong but I had to pretend as if I've never drank in my life. So when I tasted it, I put up a face that shows that I didn't like it. I had to be really pretentious.
That's it.
-dkm
When we got to the hotel, I started to take a lot of pictures. I do that a lot when I'm bored. I'm pretty vain, I have to say. Abang brought 4 walkie-talkies and we all had fun playing around with it. We kinda got used to saying the word 'over' after every sentence. It was fun with it though. We saved a lot of money.
When dinner came, we had it at a restaurant called Macaronni. Italian cuisine!! eeeww!! I didn't like it. I ate pepperoni pizza. That's the only thing I know how to eat. I didn't know what to order. Plus, over there I had to go to toilet like every few minutes. One of the reasons were because I needed to go to and the other one is *ahem*ahem*. I'm sure most of you could figure it out.
On our first day in Bali, we went to a club called M Bar Go. It was alright. Many aussie, english and balinese!! Not cute nor handsome! A waste of time going there. Some of the surfers boys were really hot. I have to admit that the bartender working there was cute too! Unfortunately, he is too old! Too bad for me huh.
One weird thing was that, my brother allowed me to drink. I know it was wrong but I had to pretend as if I've never drank in my life. So when I tasted it, I put up a face that shows that I didn't like it. I had to be really pretentious.
That's it.
-dkm
Thursday, August 18, 2005
*quick one*
This is to the one I love, he knows who he is.
If one day I were to be blind, I would still know that you are beautiful. It may not be possible for me to see your face, but after long enough I will be able to know your heart. With a kind heart comes your beauty.
-dkm
If one day I were to be blind, I would still know that you are beautiful. It may not be possible for me to see your face, but after long enough I will be able to know your heart. With a kind heart comes your beauty.
-dkm
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
This is my confession.
Is this the right time to confess. I wonder. I feel guilty keeping a secret from my sister, which I never do. As I am writing this, I am actually in her room. I don't know how to tell her. Would it be the right time to tell her? I know she would get angry if I tell her. It's so soon. But I don't know. She just got back from Sabah. She was working there for the past 2 weeks. Should I bombard her with this shocking news? I don't know what to say. I'm speechless.
Well, I've told her. It was quite scary and embarassing. But that's life. The only thing left is, telling my mum about it. I know what the consequences are going to be. I'm not sure what she's going to do. When she found out my sister lost her virginity. She kept it cool. I don't know about me. She'll be really strict though. She has warned me a lot of times not to lose it at this age. I didn't listen. I figured that I was too in love with Izzat. It could be another one of those boys I go out with. I'm so scared. I feel really guilty for not telling my mum the truth. As I see her face everyday, and her being nice to me. The guilt keeps on increasing at one part of my heart. I know I'm a bit too young for this, but I wanted to have it. We both did. Both of us were ready and we thought about it. Over and over again.
I used to be such an innocent girl. I can't say that I am anymore. It's sad isn't it. I'm like all the other girls out there. I just hope I don't become wild and sleep around. It'll make my mum furious. She will become a monster. She has said specifically that she didn't want me to become like my sister. Honestly, I am not. It seems that way because I do the same things as she does. We have the same interest. What can we do. I know that we can change but what if I enjoy doing those stuff.
My sister just broke up with her boyfriend. I'm still not used to being around her while she knows that I am not a virgin anymore. I feel really awkward. I don't know what to do. My pretty confused now. I just know one thing, I hope nothing happens in between of Izzat and I. I'll regret any mistake that I do. It's sad isn't it?
Somehow people say that once you have lost it, you'll naturally change your attitude. Becoming more elegant. As in more like a woman. I don't feel any change in me. I don't feel a thing. My period is irregular and I'm still punching people. What does that say? I've got really far with Izzat. I'm not sure what is the right next step. I'm just going to let it be. I have no idea.
-dkm
Well, I've told her. It was quite scary and embarassing. But that's life. The only thing left is, telling my mum about it. I know what the consequences are going to be. I'm not sure what she's going to do. When she found out my sister lost her virginity. She kept it cool. I don't know about me. She'll be really strict though. She has warned me a lot of times not to lose it at this age. I didn't listen. I figured that I was too in love with Izzat. It could be another one of those boys I go out with. I'm so scared. I feel really guilty for not telling my mum the truth. As I see her face everyday, and her being nice to me. The guilt keeps on increasing at one part of my heart. I know I'm a bit too young for this, but I wanted to have it. We both did. Both of us were ready and we thought about it. Over and over again.
I used to be such an innocent girl. I can't say that I am anymore. It's sad isn't it. I'm like all the other girls out there. I just hope I don't become wild and sleep around. It'll make my mum furious. She will become a monster. She has said specifically that she didn't want me to become like my sister. Honestly, I am not. It seems that way because I do the same things as she does. We have the same interest. What can we do. I know that we can change but what if I enjoy doing those stuff.
My sister just broke up with her boyfriend. I'm still not used to being around her while she knows that I am not a virgin anymore. I feel really awkward. I don't know what to do. My pretty confused now. I just know one thing, I hope nothing happens in between of Izzat and I. I'll regret any mistake that I do. It's sad isn't it?
Somehow people say that once you have lost it, you'll naturally change your attitude. Becoming more elegant. As in more like a woman. I don't feel any change in me. I don't feel a thing. My period is irregular and I'm still punching people. What does that say? I've got really far with Izzat. I'm not sure what is the right next step. I'm just going to let it be. I have no idea.
-dkm
When afternoon comes..
I just woke up, I'm bored to death. Nothing to do. I'm going to get the materials for the dress soon. In one hour or so. Till then, I don't know what to do. Mum just called, suppose to pick me up and get the stuff. I still have nothing to do. My last resort to kill the boredom is writing in my blog. Or read other peoples' blog. I love doing that. I taught my little brother how to create a blog. Now, he has his own blog with a really cute tittle. I like it. I wonder if he has updated it. I'm sure he has forgotten about it today. Another 2 days and I'll be off to bali. I wouldn't say that I am totally pysched about the trip but I am quite excited. It'll be a good break from all the bullshit in Malaysia. I'll be gone for 4 days or more, not sure. Once I'm back from Bali, I'll be off to Thailand. Hehehe. Everyone loves me and that's why they're all inviting me.
School is starting soon. I can't wait to see all the faces that I dislike. Can't wait for them to whisper that I can hear from miles away. School won't be the same though. No more playing around and joking around. This is going to be my last year. I hope I could cope up with everything thrown to me. Not a good time to be depressed or emotional. I need to be strong and put my concentration on one thing, which is my education. I know I won't be welcomed to school by the students. But they're not the one that owns the school. I saw one of my schoolmates today at secret recipe while having lunch with mama and ezzat. I was glad to see Ju li. Haven't seen her in ages. Nothing has change except for her hair. It's growing longer.
I've bought the materials for my dress. It cost a lot. But I don't think my mum minds because I don't do this everytime. It's once in a while. I don't know what to get for my mum and sister as their birthday are coming close. I'm still clueless. I wonder what the boys are getting us. Everytime september comes, everyone would be broke. Due to the reason that, all the girls in the family are september including my grandmother. What a coincidence?!?!
I've spoke to my boyfriend. He seemed a bit hyper today. I was the one that had a my voice up to the level that I myself couldn't stand. I wasn't angry though. Just annoyed. I'm having a headache. Must be because of me climbing the gate just now to let mama in. The keys that she brought with her had the gate's remote, it wasn't working. It was raining and the maid wasn't home, so I had to climb up the gate and open the door. Since Ezzat is too small and too spoilt!
My sister is coming back today, she'll be reaching here at around 9pm. I am so excited. I have missed her so much. I didn't have anyone to talk for like 3 weeks. How could she leave me here? Hehehe. That's it for now..
-dkm
School is starting soon. I can't wait to see all the faces that I dislike. Can't wait for them to whisper that I can hear from miles away. School won't be the same though. No more playing around and joking around. This is going to be my last year. I hope I could cope up with everything thrown to me. Not a good time to be depressed or emotional. I need to be strong and put my concentration on one thing, which is my education. I know I won't be welcomed to school by the students. But they're not the one that owns the school. I saw one of my schoolmates today at secret recipe while having lunch with mama and ezzat. I was glad to see Ju li. Haven't seen her in ages. Nothing has change except for her hair. It's growing longer.
I've bought the materials for my dress. It cost a lot. But I don't think my mum minds because I don't do this everytime. It's once in a while. I don't know what to get for my mum and sister as their birthday are coming close. I'm still clueless. I wonder what the boys are getting us. Everytime september comes, everyone would be broke. Due to the reason that, all the girls in the family are september including my grandmother. What a coincidence?!?!
I've spoke to my boyfriend. He seemed a bit hyper today. I was the one that had a my voice up to the level that I myself couldn't stand. I wasn't angry though. Just annoyed. I'm having a headache. Must be because of me climbing the gate just now to let mama in. The keys that she brought with her had the gate's remote, it wasn't working. It was raining and the maid wasn't home, so I had to climb up the gate and open the door. Since Ezzat is too small and too spoilt!
My sister is coming back today, she'll be reaching here at around 9pm. I am so excited. I have missed her so much. I didn't have anyone to talk for like 3 weeks. How could she leave me here? Hehehe. That's it for now..
-dkm
spent it...
I am totally blank for today's blog. I have no idea. I didn't learn anything today. I will tell you what happened today. I woke up at 2.30pm. I took a bath and headed to Ampang point. As I reached there, I went to brewball and played some foosball. My everyday routine. The point of me going to Ampang point was to meet my tailor for my birthday dress. I went in there at 3-ish and the fashion designer wasn't there. I had to come back again later. I went to eat my lunch at Taiwan House with Izzat. I ate the same thing like I always do. Beef rice with Ice lemon tea.
As time passes by, I went back up to Brewball, just to accompany pidot. Since it is his birthday, I didn't want to leave him alone over there. Thus, he looked so cute yesterday. His birthday was today. He had a birthday bash by Izzat, zul, tokek, farhan, hayad and me. We all bought 17 eggs and flour. The chase was on after we were done drinking at Hidayah. All of us were running, trying to catch him. Only Izzat got to splat the egg on him. Three of them. He smelled like shit. Everyone started hurling the flour at his face. He was tired and really smelly. I sent him home right after. I'm just scared that, he would do the same thing on my birthday. Which is coming up in like 20 days.
I went to the tailor's today. I gave in the drawing that syahmi did. He was surprised and he would do his very best to fulfil my taste. I'm glad. It'll cost around 2-3k. I think that is pretty cheap. I want to do a matching shoes too. I love it. Tomorrow, I'm going to go and buy the material at Euro Moda. Can't wait till it's half done.
I got home at 7pm, went up to my room and spent time with Izzat. Papa, mama, izzat and I had dinner together at home. Few jokes were exchange in between conversations. The usual. Everyone picks on Deena. Soon after, Izzat had to go home. His mum was already bitching. I couldn't do anything. When Izzat was out of the house, I joined my little brother in the bath tub. Played with bubbles. Cleaned ourselves up and had loads of fun. Bubble, bubbles everywhere. Love it. I did many things today. I'm actually planning to do something tomorrow with Ezzat. Maybe, watch a movie or something. I can't wait till school starts. Unfortunately, it's on my birthday!!! Argghhh!!!
-dkm
As time passes by, I went back up to Brewball, just to accompany pidot. Since it is his birthday, I didn't want to leave him alone over there. Thus, he looked so cute yesterday. His birthday was today. He had a birthday bash by Izzat, zul, tokek, farhan, hayad and me. We all bought 17 eggs and flour. The chase was on after we were done drinking at Hidayah. All of us were running, trying to catch him. Only Izzat got to splat the egg on him. Three of them. He smelled like shit. Everyone started hurling the flour at his face. He was tired and really smelly. I sent him home right after. I'm just scared that, he would do the same thing on my birthday. Which is coming up in like 20 days.
I went to the tailor's today. I gave in the drawing that syahmi did. He was surprised and he would do his very best to fulfil my taste. I'm glad. It'll cost around 2-3k. I think that is pretty cheap. I want to do a matching shoes too. I love it. Tomorrow, I'm going to go and buy the material at Euro Moda. Can't wait till it's half done.
I got home at 7pm, went up to my room and spent time with Izzat. Papa, mama, izzat and I had dinner together at home. Few jokes were exchange in between conversations. The usual. Everyone picks on Deena. Soon after, Izzat had to go home. His mum was already bitching. I couldn't do anything. When Izzat was out of the house, I joined my little brother in the bath tub. Played with bubbles. Cleaned ourselves up and had loads of fun. Bubble, bubbles everywhere. Love it. I did many things today. I'm actually planning to do something tomorrow with Ezzat. Maybe, watch a movie or something. I can't wait till school starts. Unfortunately, it's on my birthday!!! Argghhh!!!
-dkm
Maturity.. going into adulthood.
From most things I've learnt that, maturity doesn't happen when you start to have pubic hair and when you start having your period. You could only say that you're matured once you have solved a mid life crisis. Which is long to come for most of us. It's not based on how you talk or write. That doesn't show anything. Sometimes, when you change your attitude for the better, it doesn't mean you are matured.
I was wrong to think that I am matured for my age. No one is. There are some people out there, with a very old age who acts like 15 year old. I'm not surprised. You may ponder on how you can judge whether you have matured or not. Well, think about it. Were we born in this world to judge or to live our destiny?
It's funny. A lot of people just love to judge others. I have to admit that I am one of them. I am planning to decrease that a bit and just live my life. Even though you are just living your life, there would still be humans who tries to destroy it. We need to be strong and make our pillars stand out. We can't just fall in and let them crush our lives.
There are many solutions to one problem. We cannot say which one is right or wrong. We can only be guided through the right path or directions. Which ever way we take, in the end we will have the feeling whether it is right or wrong. It may be right for some people and may be wrong for others. Again, who are we to say. These are the things that we need to leave it to GOD's judgement. I know he will make a good one.
-dkm
I was wrong to think that I am matured for my age. No one is. There are some people out there, with a very old age who acts like 15 year old. I'm not surprised. You may ponder on how you can judge whether you have matured or not. Well, think about it. Were we born in this world to judge or to live our destiny?
It's funny. A lot of people just love to judge others. I have to admit that I am one of them. I am planning to decrease that a bit and just live my life. Even though you are just living your life, there would still be humans who tries to destroy it. We need to be strong and make our pillars stand out. We can't just fall in and let them crush our lives.
There are many solutions to one problem. We cannot say which one is right or wrong. We can only be guided through the right path or directions. Which ever way we take, in the end we will have the feeling whether it is right or wrong. It may be right for some people and may be wrong for others. Again, who are we to say. These are the things that we need to leave it to GOD's judgement. I know he will make a good one.
-dkm
Mutiara Internation Grammar School
Mutiara International Grammar School, a school with absolutely nothing to be proud of. I know some schools that have students which is very proud that they are from that school. As for my school, people in there usually keep in a secret. There is nothing in there.
I went to Mutiara when I was 11years old. I just finished my UPSR, which is a local examinations. I joined year 7 when I got there. I could remember my first day like it was last week. Everyone was very friendly and I had a lot of fun. Teachers were nice and pleasant.
Soon enough I found out that, teachers and students were exactly the same. I thought that my last school was bad. I was wrong! Sri Garden was so much better than Mutiara! I miss Sri Garden! Teachers in Mutiara are fucking hypocrites! I hate Mr Shiraz and some other who I can't think of. The ones I love are; Mr raj, Mr Doss, Mr shiva, Mrs Rajan, Ms Sarmistha and also some others who has touched my life. I don't really like any of them in school. I was surprised to find out that even teachers talked about students. And they talk a lot. I can't wait for the day they get busted by the directors. I will make sure of that.
I know I will be finishing school soon. Half of my heart is excited but the other part of it knows that it's going to miss everything about school. Once I'm back in school, I'm going to make the best out of it. I will try not to let anyone get in my way. There will be people who would try to bring me down like they did last term. I should be much stronger now though.
Those kids in Mutiara, the only reason they bitch about another person is because there are very much jealous with what I have or what I am. I'm glad. Therefore, I will let them talk more. It ticks me off everytime I hear they talk about me. But what goes around comes around. I love my life. :)
-dkm
I went to Mutiara when I was 11years old. I just finished my UPSR, which is a local examinations. I joined year 7 when I got there. I could remember my first day like it was last week. Everyone was very friendly and I had a lot of fun. Teachers were nice and pleasant.
Soon enough I found out that, teachers and students were exactly the same. I thought that my last school was bad. I was wrong! Sri Garden was so much better than Mutiara! I miss Sri Garden! Teachers in Mutiara are fucking hypocrites! I hate Mr Shiraz and some other who I can't think of. The ones I love are; Mr raj, Mr Doss, Mr shiva, Mrs Rajan, Ms Sarmistha and also some others who has touched my life. I don't really like any of them in school. I was surprised to find out that even teachers talked about students. And they talk a lot. I can't wait for the day they get busted by the directors. I will make sure of that.
I know I will be finishing school soon. Half of my heart is excited but the other part of it knows that it's going to miss everything about school. Once I'm back in school, I'm going to make the best out of it. I will try not to let anyone get in my way. There will be people who would try to bring me down like they did last term. I should be much stronger now though.
Those kids in Mutiara, the only reason they bitch about another person is because there are very much jealous with what I have or what I am. I'm glad. Therefore, I will let them talk more. It ticks me off everytime I hear they talk about me. But what goes around comes around. I love my life. :)
-dkm
There is always another solution..??
I'm sick of trying to please people. I'm not like some people who always please people. But what I'm saying is that, I'm getting sick and tired trying to make everybody happy. I mean, there is no point making others happy when you yourself aren't happy. I mean, what's the point of that?
Like everything else. What's the point of working hard trying to get money and you don't know how to enjoy it. You need time for yourself too. I don't know. I have to confessed to my blog that I haven't been happy lately. My days have been quite dull for me. I don't like living like this. Who does?
I called Izzat just now. He was asleep. He wanted to wake up at 12am to study for his trials tomorrow. Needed to do that because he didn't study the whole day today. I called him at 12am, trying to be a good girlfriend giving him a wake up call. BOY!! Was I wrong. He was whining telling me that he slept for a short while and wanted to sleep more and wake up at 2am. I was scared that he wouldn't wake up in time to study. He mumbled the whole time while I was on the phone with him. I told him that I wanted to go and he could call me later if he remembers.
I hate talking to him when he is sleeping. It's so annoying. What can I do right? I need to be patient. Just a few more months till his exams are finish. One thing screwed is once his exams are finish, I am the one that would need to start being serious in my education. I have only 6 more months in school and I'll be done for good. No more school, no more uniforms, no more cute bells and no more MUTIARA! The last one would be like a dream come true. It would be my last exams, I know for a fact that if I fail my o levels, my mum would slaughter me. Not only her, her gang too! That's it. I will post up more shit. Coming to you...
-dkm
Like everything else. What's the point of working hard trying to get money and you don't know how to enjoy it. You need time for yourself too. I don't know. I have to confessed to my blog that I haven't been happy lately. My days have been quite dull for me. I don't like living like this. Who does?
I called Izzat just now. He was asleep. He wanted to wake up at 12am to study for his trials tomorrow. Needed to do that because he didn't study the whole day today. I called him at 12am, trying to be a good girlfriend giving him a wake up call. BOY!! Was I wrong. He was whining telling me that he slept for a short while and wanted to sleep more and wake up at 2am. I was scared that he wouldn't wake up in time to study. He mumbled the whole time while I was on the phone with him. I told him that I wanted to go and he could call me later if he remembers.
I hate talking to him when he is sleeping. It's so annoying. What can I do right? I need to be patient. Just a few more months till his exams are finish. One thing screwed is once his exams are finish, I am the one that would need to start being serious in my education. I have only 6 more months in school and I'll be done for good. No more school, no more uniforms, no more cute bells and no more MUTIARA! The last one would be like a dream come true. It would be my last exams, I know for a fact that if I fail my o levels, my mum would slaughter me. Not only her, her gang too! That's it. I will post up more shit. Coming to you...
-dkm
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Firdaus = Firdaud = Pidot
I want to wish pidot a very happy birthday. I hope everything goes well. Good luck for your trials that is going on right now. I am happy that I was the first one to call you. I'm sure some people were mad that they didn't get through your phone. Muaahahahaha.
-dkm
-dkm
I love you! uh-huh! I do!
I am a little bit more in love with you,
each morning when I wake up.
I am a little bit more in love with you,
everytime you call my name.
I am a little bit more in love with you,
when you come and hold my hand.
I am a little bit more in love with you,
when you make love to me.
I am a little bit more in love with you,
every moment , everyday!!!
-dkm
each morning when I wake up.
I am a little bit more in love with you,
everytime you call my name.
I am a little bit more in love with you,
when you come and hold my hand.
I am a little bit more in love with you,
when you make love to me.
I am a little bit more in love with you,
every moment , everyday!!!
-dkm
Losing you.. means losing myselff..
Losing you....
I loose my grip on reality,
on each day that passes by;
I haven't a clue where I'm headed,
oh how this pain makes me cry.
My world is changing so quickly,
and I'm loosing everything in sight;
Why can't things go back to how it used to be,
so that everything would be alright.
Your heart, it's ripped wide open,
and even though you try to hide;
It will break and bleed continuously,
and feel as though it will never subside.
-dkm
---Cute---
I went to my mum's office this afternoon before I went to the tailor. Over there, she has a place where she stores all my certificates, medical, insurance, education & many more files. She keeps everything over there. Since I was younger, I used to go there and that's the first thing I attacked. I would look what's new and check out the inside of the covers. I love looking at all my dance ceritificates. There is a lot of them in it. The file is really thick. It's well organized. It has all the details.
In this house, a lot of things are thrown around. My mum would pick it up and put it in the files. I found my diary that I wrote in 1998. It was so funny. I had bad english and my hand writing was horrible! I was so glad that my mum kept it. I wrote many things in there. Mostly, I wrote it when I was in New Zealand. I remembered that I was so young and at that time I was in Sri Garden. In the diary, my spelling for some words are really funny. I could see how much my english has improved.
At that time, I used to have a crush on this guy name Akmal. I loved him and I used to hang out with him like everyday. He loves to tease me. But we liked each other very much. Hehehe. I used to be so naughty everytime I went to his house. We love to play catch and I am always the one that ends up in the drain. Lovely init? It brought so much memory. I loved it. I couldn't stop laughing as I read it.
-dkm
In this house, a lot of things are thrown around. My mum would pick it up and put it in the files. I found my diary that I wrote in 1998. It was so funny. I had bad english and my hand writing was horrible! I was so glad that my mum kept it. I wrote many things in there. Mostly, I wrote it when I was in New Zealand. I remembered that I was so young and at that time I was in Sri Garden. In the diary, my spelling for some words are really funny. I could see how much my english has improved.
At that time, I used to have a crush on this guy name Akmal. I loved him and I used to hang out with him like everyday. He loves to tease me. But we liked each other very much. Hehehe. I used to be so naughty everytime I went to his house. We love to play catch and I am always the one that ends up in the drain. Lovely init? It brought so much memory. I loved it. I couldn't stop laughing as I read it.
-dkm
Cheating??
I was watching the music video of Mariah Carey, 'we belong together'. It reminded me of someone. I felt something going through the spines of my body. Could it be that I still have feelings for you? After all this time. I wonder. One thing for sure is that, it's not strong. But I can't stop thinking about you everytime I'm alone. Could you blame me for that? I'm left being alone as Izzat is at home studying for his up coming exam.
Exactly how long would this feeling stay in me. It keeps on lingering around my body. I won't forget the smell that you have. I won't forget all the time we've hung out and laughed together. I wouldn't say that I would go for you right this instant. The feeling that I have you is becoming stronger & stronger. I cannot lie anymore. I know it would make Izzat upset but I need to spend more time with him.
Do you consider this cheating? I need to get some answers for that question. I know I'm not being honest to the one I love now. I love Izzat dearly. I do. The only problem is that, the crush I'm having on you is turning into love. I know I am able to stop this from happening. Much time would be needed for the process.
I've shared a very intimate relationship with Izzat. I don't want anything to get in the way. That would be one of the biggest mistake. I dont't want to do something that I would regret in the end. I'm going to take my own sweet time and make the right decision. If Izzat really loves me, he would understand and stay with me through all this confusions.
I don't know what else to do larh. I'm all confused. I didn't know that going out with a form 3 boy would be so hard. But could the other person provide me something more. Would I be happier? There are so many questions to be asked. No one could answer them. Unfortunately. I'm so screwed.
-dkm
Exactly how long would this feeling stay in me. It keeps on lingering around my body. I won't forget the smell that you have. I won't forget all the time we've hung out and laughed together. I wouldn't say that I would go for you right this instant. The feeling that I have you is becoming stronger & stronger. I cannot lie anymore. I know it would make Izzat upset but I need to spend more time with him.
Do you consider this cheating? I need to get some answers for that question. I know I'm not being honest to the one I love now. I love Izzat dearly. I do. The only problem is that, the crush I'm having on you is turning into love. I know I am able to stop this from happening. Much time would be needed for the process.
I've shared a very intimate relationship with Izzat. I don't want anything to get in the way. That would be one of the biggest mistake. I dont't want to do something that I would regret in the end. I'm going to take my own sweet time and make the right decision. If Izzat really loves me, he would understand and stay with me through all this confusions.
I don't know what else to do larh. I'm all confused. I didn't know that going out with a form 3 boy would be so hard. But could the other person provide me something more. Would I be happier? There are so many questions to be asked. No one could answer them. Unfortunately. I'm so screwed.
-dkm
Sweet Sixteen
Soon enough, another 21 days, I'll turn 16 years old. I remembered a few years back, one of my mum's pyschologer told her that once I reacher 16 years old I'll be really beautiful. I don't think that's going to happen. Anyways, I'm going to hold my party at Concorde, spices. It's not going to be big. Not worth it. I'm going to have a dinner thingy. Today evening, I went to tailor to make my dress. I would have to go there again. I can't wait till it's going to be ready. I've already chosen the chiffon colour and the lining for the inside. It's going to be stunning. The drawings of the dress was drawn by one of my friend called Syahmi. I would have to say that, he is awesome at it! It was as if he could read my mind and did it. How he drew it was exactly how I wanted and picture it. I'm glad I have him. 16 years old is not a really big thing in Malaysia. It is in America because that's when they get their driving license and legal to do anything. Over here, a lot of things are not legal yet. The age would 18!! When that day comes, I'll make it bigg.. But I won't forget about the next big age, which is 21years old. It'll be the age, where I am free to do anything I want. I love it. The only problem is, I don't really like growing old so soon. I wish I was still in form 2. I can still play around and there is no need to worry about finishing school and final exams! Hehehe. No worries about college or anything like that. Now, it's all different. I'm changing! Everything is. Wooo.... I will update you more on my party and my dress.. I can't wait!! *over-excited*
-dkm
-dkm