I was watching the music video of Mariah Carey, 'we belong together'. It reminded me of someone. I felt something going through the spines of my body. Could it be that I still have feelings for you? After all this time. I wonder. One thing for sure is that, it's not strong. But I can't stop thinking about you everytime I'm alone. Could you blame me for that? I'm left being alone as Izzat is at home studying for his up coming exam.
Exactly how long would this feeling stay in me. It keeps on lingering around my body. I won't forget the smell that you have. I won't forget all the time we've hung out and laughed together. I wouldn't say that I would go for you right this instant. The feeling that I have you is becoming stronger & stronger. I cannot lie anymore. I know it would make Izzat upset but I need to spend more time with him.
Do you consider this cheating? I need to get some answers for that question. I know I'm not being honest to the one I love now. I love Izzat dearly. I do. The only problem is that, the crush I'm having on you is turning into love. I know I am able to stop this from happening. Much time would be needed for the process.
I've shared a very intimate relationship with Izzat. I don't want anything to get in the way. That would be one of the biggest mistake. I dont't want to do something that I would regret in the end. I'm going to take my own sweet time and make the right decision. If Izzat really loves me, he would understand and stay with me through all this confusions.
I don't know what else to do larh. I'm all confused. I didn't know that going out with a form 3 boy would be so hard. But could the other person provide me something more. Would I be happier? There are so many questions to be asked. No one could answer them. Unfortunately. I'm so screwed.
-dkm
