I cannot stand this feeling anymore. I haven’t done anything wrong to you. Why are you the one giving me the silent treatment? I was not the one that scolded you. It was your mum. If I’ve said something wrong, then just tell me straight up.
Our relationship has been so rocky. I know that I can’t expect us to be smooth sailing all the time. But it’s been rocky everyday. I don’t even feel the love anymore. I miss you so much baby. I can’t stand lying to myself. I need to tell you the truth. I’ve been thinking about you the whole day.
I have restricted myself from calling nor message you. I wanted to give you a bit of space. You can’t blame me for this; I’m still in shocked at the fact that your mum called me and spilt everything to me. She mentioned something about the lawyers and the custody.
I gathered, maybe you really need the space. I can’t keep on coming into your life. I need you to cooperate with me. You need to study. Take these commands as me loving you a lot. Not as an order. I want to see you excel in your studies. I would need you to do the same for me as my o’levels are approaching very close.
I don’t want to tell you that, while typing this in my blog I’m crying like a little baby wanting his or her mum. The amount of times I’ve cried for you are uncountable. I don’t want you to feel pity for me and come over to comfort me. I don’t want to be a distraction anymore.
I didn’t understand why you were being so cruel to me when I called just now. I was talking to you very nicely. Under normal circumstances, I would already start screaming and giving you a sounding of your life. You can’t blame me for something I didn’t know. I really need to take my mind of this. I can’t be having this while my exams are going on. I’ll go crazy.
I already have a few problems accumulating in my brain. I myself am trying to sort this thing out. Slowly I keep on thinking about it and listing down what I’m going to do about it. I sound like I’m a psycho but this is who I really am. I miss you so much. I can’t stand a day without you. But I guess, I won’t be seeing you for the next 2 months. Due to the reason being that your major exams are coming.
Don’t take me wrong sweetie. I really love you but we need to go on a break. Whether we do or don’t, the feeling would be the same. I won’t go running off to some other guy. After you’re done with the exams, I will be in front of you waiting with open arms. So, don’t keep on assuming that I am going to leave you.
We’ve shared so many things. Do you actually think that I’m going to ruined all of those? I won’t forget the intimate part of it. Who would have thought that we’d go that far ahead? I would never regret it. The feeling of it is amazing and mesmerizing. It’s just unexplainable. Now, I’m beginning to know what others are trying to say. It’s totally understandable why people loves it so much. I won’t question it any further. I wish you could read this.
-dkm
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
toilet...
ohh geez-esss.. hehehe.. I remembered the day I got slapped by mum for saying 'jesus christ'. It must be because I was hanging around christian and they kept on saying it. So I got used to the idea of saying it.
Well, I'm sure you guys are wondering why my blog tittle is 'toilet'? Here is the story. In my toilet, there are so many memories that were made along the years that i've been growing up. I tell you, its amazing how toilet can be a place for conversation and fun.
One of the memories were, my sister and I were singing aloud in the toilet. We were singing all this emo song. Pretty funny huh. Memories that were made were not only by my sister and I. It was shared among all the friends that i've had over in this house. I missed all those moments. I wish I could turn back time and look at it again.
-dkm
Well, I'm sure you guys are wondering why my blog tittle is 'toilet'? Here is the story. In my toilet, there are so many memories that were made along the years that i've been growing up. I tell you, its amazing how toilet can be a place for conversation and fun.
One of the memories were, my sister and I were singing aloud in the toilet. We were singing all this emo song. Pretty funny huh. Memories that were made were not only by my sister and I. It was shared among all the friends that i've had over in this house. I missed all those moments. I wish I could turn back time and look at it again.
-dkm
Yet another day has gone by..
My mum went into the hospital today for an operation. She came out fine. It was a success. Nothing much was going on today. I didn't go out with my friends, couldn't be bothered. The only place I went was groceries shopping with Ryzal, Zaida and Ezzat. Had fun there. We did everything so quickly. I was running left and right. Funny.
The day passed by really slow. I got a call from Izzat's mum. She was informing about Izzat's studies and attitude. I can see that she is actually blaming it on me. I don't mind taking all the blame and accusation. What can I do? I am just a beautiful distraction. *perasan* She called early in the afternoon, I was half awake. But as soon as I heard her voice, I was wide awake. Listening to her telling me about her son which I already knew.
Apparently, Izzat has been very rude and basically, rebellious. I mean, it's a phase that all of us teenagers go through. Mum is very worried. She felt that she was disobeying her every single time. Plus, she felt that Izzat treated her house like a hotel. Where he goes in and goes back out without her permission. She told me that, her son has never been like this. I wouldn't know this.
Besides that, nothing else happened. I am planning to go on a break with Izzat. So that he could focus on his upcoming exams. With absolutely no distractions. I wouldn't be able to stand it. But in a relationship, you need to make some sacrifices right? Without it, you can't always get it the way you want. Unless, you're a little spoilt brat like someone I know very well by the name of DEENA!!
I miss Farah a lot. I haven't been speaking to her. Recently, I only spoke to her through text and that's it. I've been too caught up with some bullshit in my life. I didn't speak to her since friday. No matter what, she'll always be in my heart. That's it.
-dkm
The day passed by really slow. I got a call from Izzat's mum. She was informing about Izzat's studies and attitude. I can see that she is actually blaming it on me. I don't mind taking all the blame and accusation. What can I do? I am just a beautiful distraction. *perasan* She called early in the afternoon, I was half awake. But as soon as I heard her voice, I was wide awake. Listening to her telling me about her son which I already knew.
Apparently, Izzat has been very rude and basically, rebellious. I mean, it's a phase that all of us teenagers go through. Mum is very worried. She felt that she was disobeying her every single time. Plus, she felt that Izzat treated her house like a hotel. Where he goes in and goes back out without her permission. She told me that, her son has never been like this. I wouldn't know this.
Besides that, nothing else happened. I am planning to go on a break with Izzat. So that he could focus on his upcoming exams. With absolutely no distractions. I wouldn't be able to stand it. But in a relationship, you need to make some sacrifices right? Without it, you can't always get it the way you want. Unless, you're a little spoilt brat like someone I know very well by the name of DEENA!!
I miss Farah a lot. I haven't been speaking to her. Recently, I only spoke to her through text and that's it. I've been too caught up with some bullshit in my life. I didn't speak to her since friday. No matter what, she'll always be in my heart. That's it.
-dkm
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Nothing more..
I have nothing more to say to this world. The time has come for me to keep my mouth close and give the world only the silence of my mind. I have expressed all the emotions that I wanted. I cannot say that I am satisfied with what I've done or not. Yet, I'm here laying down on the bed thinking I've not finished half of the things in life.
There will come a time where everyone would keep their mouth shut and just let their heart speak. Could I finally say that I am in LOVE? Would this be the right time. Well, even if it is I am not going to trigger the emotions. I don't want to be speaking too soon. I'm not saying that I'm not in love but I don't want 'IT' to be jinx.
Many intimate moments are shared between us. I'm glad that we're still together despite the fight that we went through. I have wondered so much of what you think about me. The feeling I have in me, is more or less like the time I just started going out with you.
I would have to say the fun part of the relationship is the chasing. It wasn't easy to get you. I'm guessing you're a keeper. Eventhough our anniversary morning was a disaster, it was all forgotten as the night falls on us. We had such a great time that we totally forgot about the time that was passing by us. One of the nights that we will always remember. I have put through you so many things and you would never get that from any other person. I miss you sayang. I've been loving you more each day.
-dkm
There will come a time where everyone would keep their mouth shut and just let their heart speak. Could I finally say that I am in LOVE? Would this be the right time. Well, even if it is I am not going to trigger the emotions. I don't want to be speaking too soon. I'm not saying that I'm not in love but I don't want 'IT' to be jinx.
Many intimate moments are shared between us. I'm glad that we're still together despite the fight that we went through. I have wondered so much of what you think about me. The feeling I have in me, is more or less like the time I just started going out with you.
I would have to say the fun part of the relationship is the chasing. It wasn't easy to get you. I'm guessing you're a keeper. Eventhough our anniversary morning was a disaster, it was all forgotten as the night falls on us. We had such a great time that we totally forgot about the time that was passing by us. One of the nights that we will always remember. I have put through you so many things and you would never get that from any other person. I miss you sayang. I've been loving you more each day.
-dkm
Monday, August 08, 2005
*mmoommeennttss*
You know one of the times you’re in a car with your mum and she starts blabbering about life. Let’s say you are close to her or you tell her everything about yourself. She knows exactly what’s happening with you. She was there when you needed her. Plus, she was there to pull you back up. Even though she screams at you because she hates looking at you shedding tears that are not worth it yet, she gives you time to wipe your tears and comfort you in the end.
Slowly, I’m beginning to understand the life of mum. The reasons why mum just give us shit. In the end, it’s so for the better of our future. We may not understand at the time of the situation going on. But if you take your time to think it over, you will realize that behind all this screaming, blabbering and lectures, there is always a damn good reason. I hate to admit that sometimes. Especially when you know they are right. All of us human beings in this world would fight to be right. It is wrong to think only one side can be right. In a matter of fact, everyone is right in their own mind. The thing that makes it wrong is the way other people think about it. Unless, there is a fact about the statement being made.
As you know, I’m very close to my mum in a way that I tell her most things about me. The fights, love and others. She knows about nini. In my previous blog, I’ve written about how much I hated her. Well, in the car on the way back from lunch. My mum made a rather profound sentence about love and hate. As we all know, love is the opposite of hate. Therefore, when you love someone so deep you can end up hating them. The amount of hatred that you feel is the same as the amount of love that you’ve had for them. As I think about thoroughly, I figured that it’s so true! I was implying it on the nini incident. I hate her so much now and yet, I loved her dearly in the past. It’s pretty damn amazing init? They were many things that was said by my mum that actually made sense to me. I gathered with this, that it is time for me to forget about the past and move on with life. I will hurl this burden of my shoulder and walk straight again. No more crying over spilt milk.
No one in this world can be living with such despair. You can’t keep on thinking about the same thing. Especially when it doesn’t bring you anywhere. One day, she will realize that my love for her is true and pure. As for now, we need to focus on our studies and excel in education. If not, I will die. Literally.
Sometimes, I feel as if I’m closer to my mum then my sister. I have to admit that sometimes I hate my mum. Because of what she tried to do. Long story. My sister and I share a lot of things that I don’t tell my family members. Basically, I share my darkest secrets with my older sister. As for my mum, I share those little girly secrets with her. I don’t know. I hate the dilemma that I’m in right now. i have a feeling that my sister is pretty much angry with me. That is another story to tell. But due to the reason that I’m really sleepy. I would have to continue this another day.
-dkm
Slowly, I’m beginning to understand the life of mum. The reasons why mum just give us shit. In the end, it’s so for the better of our future. We may not understand at the time of the situation going on. But if you take your time to think it over, you will realize that behind all this screaming, blabbering and lectures, there is always a damn good reason. I hate to admit that sometimes. Especially when you know they are right. All of us human beings in this world would fight to be right. It is wrong to think only one side can be right. In a matter of fact, everyone is right in their own mind. The thing that makes it wrong is the way other people think about it. Unless, there is a fact about the statement being made.
As you know, I’m very close to my mum in a way that I tell her most things about me. The fights, love and others. She knows about nini. In my previous blog, I’ve written about how much I hated her. Well, in the car on the way back from lunch. My mum made a rather profound sentence about love and hate. As we all know, love is the opposite of hate. Therefore, when you love someone so deep you can end up hating them. The amount of hatred that you feel is the same as the amount of love that you’ve had for them. As I think about thoroughly, I figured that it’s so true! I was implying it on the nini incident. I hate her so much now and yet, I loved her dearly in the past. It’s pretty damn amazing init? They were many things that was said by my mum that actually made sense to me. I gathered with this, that it is time for me to forget about the past and move on with life. I will hurl this burden of my shoulder and walk straight again. No more crying over spilt milk.
No one in this world can be living with such despair. You can’t keep on thinking about the same thing. Especially when it doesn’t bring you anywhere. One day, she will realize that my love for her is true and pure. As for now, we need to focus on our studies and excel in education. If not, I will die. Literally.
Sometimes, I feel as if I’m closer to my mum then my sister. I have to admit that sometimes I hate my mum. Because of what she tried to do. Long story. My sister and I share a lot of things that I don’t tell my family members. Basically, I share my darkest secrets with my older sister. As for my mum, I share those little girly secrets with her. I don’t know. I hate the dilemma that I’m in right now. i have a feeling that my sister is pretty much angry with me. That is another story to tell. But due to the reason that I’m really sleepy. I would have to continue this another day.
-dkm
2nd month anniversary..
Before you think of anything, I want to say that the anniversary was a disaster. Before I go on, I would like to say sorry for not updating my blog for the past week. I've been really busy and I didn't have my labtop with me. So it was a bit hard to do anything. Plus, my little brother was being such a pain in the ass.
For the past week, it's been pretty happening and wild. I went clubbing for 4 days straight. Freak am I not?
We're going to start of with Wednesday, I went to zouk for mambo jambo. It was alright. The same people went though. I don't really like the clubbing scene here in Malaysia. It's pretty dull. You will for sure see the same group of people. That's why I like to clubbing once in a while. On wednesday, they played the musics from the 60-70's. Interesting. Everyone was pretty drunk and singing Abba. Oldies. They really dressed up for that night though. I didn't drink much on that night. Didn't want too. Eeww. That's about it that happened there.
Moving on to thursday, it was ghetto heaven at zouk again. I went there AGAIN!!! With the same people. Only this time I hitch a ride with my older brother, Ryzal. I asked his friends whether they were going out, so they said yes. I figured then why not just go with them. I didn't plan to drink so it was fine. No one interesting over there. I got bored. But had so much fun taking lots of pictures of myself in the club with some of my friends. It ended early for me. Ryzal wanted to go home.
Friday, I went to Bangsar. A change of scene. Different music and taste. I was expecting something different. But I was dead wrong. Because, I saw the exact same people as I did in zouk. I got really ticked off but I kept quiet. Everyone was drinking. Plus, Farah wanted too. So i had to take care of her. Didn't have much fun though. I had Izzat there with me at that time. I could notice many girls were glaring at him. Who cares? Went back home early and spent time with Izzat.
Saturday, Not much happened. I went to ampang point. Wanting to play some foosball and meet a few friends. I was bored at home. Nothing to do. I only left the house at 6pm. Couldn't be bothered. Then, Izzat pisses me off. So I left him and went to Bar Savanh and party. I was really pissed. I'm keeping the story short. Because I HATE THIS FUCKING COMPUTER'S KEYBOARD. Once I get my labtop back I will type a lot. Basically, my anniversary was ruined. I hated it. Don't even want to think about it.
I have nothing else to say for now. I had a talk with my mum in the car. Some of the sentences were very much profound. I listened to her well, and somethings maybe a good guidance for me. One of the things she said to me was, you would only hate someone as much as you have love them in the past. To think about it, it's pretty true. Amazingly. I'm surprised. Well, that's it folks. I'll update more once I get my computer. Take care.
Farah, I love you babe!!!
-dkm
For the past week, it's been pretty happening and wild. I went clubbing for 4 days straight. Freak am I not?
We're going to start of with Wednesday, I went to zouk for mambo jambo. It was alright. The same people went though. I don't really like the clubbing scene here in Malaysia. It's pretty dull. You will for sure see the same group of people. That's why I like to clubbing once in a while. On wednesday, they played the musics from the 60-70's. Interesting. Everyone was pretty drunk and singing Abba. Oldies. They really dressed up for that night though. I didn't drink much on that night. Didn't want too. Eeww. That's about it that happened there.
Moving on to thursday, it was ghetto heaven at zouk again. I went there AGAIN!!! With the same people. Only this time I hitch a ride with my older brother, Ryzal. I asked his friends whether they were going out, so they said yes. I figured then why not just go with them. I didn't plan to drink so it was fine. No one interesting over there. I got bored. But had so much fun taking lots of pictures of myself in the club with some of my friends. It ended early for me. Ryzal wanted to go home.
Friday, I went to Bangsar. A change of scene. Different music and taste. I was expecting something different. But I was dead wrong. Because, I saw the exact same people as I did in zouk. I got really ticked off but I kept quiet. Everyone was drinking. Plus, Farah wanted too. So i had to take care of her. Didn't have much fun though. I had Izzat there with me at that time. I could notice many girls were glaring at him. Who cares? Went back home early and spent time with Izzat.
Saturday, Not much happened. I went to ampang point. Wanting to play some foosball and meet a few friends. I was bored at home. Nothing to do. I only left the house at 6pm. Couldn't be bothered. Then, Izzat pisses me off. So I left him and went to Bar Savanh and party. I was really pissed. I'm keeping the story short. Because I HATE THIS FUCKING COMPUTER'S KEYBOARD. Once I get my labtop back I will type a lot. Basically, my anniversary was ruined. I hated it. Don't even want to think about it.
I have nothing else to say for now. I had a talk with my mum in the car. Some of the sentences were very much profound. I listened to her well, and somethings maybe a good guidance for me. One of the things she said to me was, you would only hate someone as much as you have love them in the past. To think about it, it's pretty true. Amazingly. I'm surprised. Well, that's it folks. I'll update more once I get my computer. Take care.
Farah, I love you babe!!!
-dkm
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Facial..*hurts*
My mum always says that, no pain no gain. I know that but facial is so painful. My mum keeps on bugging me to go to the gym and lose some weight. *phew* I'm just too lazy for that. Of course in my mind, I have something much more easier but dangerous. I feel like doing it everyday but I can't. Gosh, this post is so boring. I don't know what else to write larh. I haven't wrote in my blog for like 2 days. I feel like i've missed something. Hehehe. That's it bloggilina. Hehehe. That's the name of my blog. I am imagining that i'm writing this to the blog. Wooo...
-dkm
-dkm
Killing her.. Fofo..
There was a time after the cheer 2005, I made a comment about one of the schools that was in it. The name of the school is SBU. It stands for Seri Bintang Utara. It was known as BBGS before. That stood for Bukit Bintang Girl School. Years after, they turned into a co-ed school. This school is already known to be one of the hated school in malaysia. This is from long ago. Many girls hated this school. Well, I started hating this school since I was really young.
Until one day, Izzat's ex-girlfriend aalia was from that school. The story that went around the school was about me and izzat. Something about Izzat was taken away by me from aalia. Childish shit like that. As you know the typical form 3 girls. I remembered when I was in form 3, I used to have a whole gang of friends. The only thing different was, my gang was full of guys. While theirs, are full of girls. Aalia has got friends which just can't shut their mouth. It all started this way. Aalia's bestfriend was a girl named fana. At first, she was one of the girls who bitch-ed about me. I found out about it and confronted her. (pure deena) Then, she admitted her faults and apologize. So I forgave her and started talking. She is indeed a sweet girl.
Then, going back to the earlier story. I made a comment about their school. How they sucked at the cheer comp. They got really ticked off about it. One of them by the name of FOFO, wrote a blog regarding me on friendster. Just to let everybody read it. Typical form 3 as I said before. Saying that im fat, this and that. The usual. So I figured, maybe she was pretty. As I opened her profile to look at her pictures, she looked like a bulldog which got rammed many times over the face. So I was laughing. Even though I'm laughing in the outside. I'm still angry at the fact she wrote that about me. The title of the blog is, Fuck Deena Katrina. She may want to think about what she has wrote. This could create a fight.
Hahaha. Little kids. As I think about it twice, I may not want to bring myself to her level. I find that her friends are very attractive. While she is stuck being the only ugly one there. What a pity? Oh well, lets leave it to her to find out about this blog. She may get mad and she may not. But she needs to watch out of who she's messing with. Don't want her ugly face to get uglier of course. It'll hurt her mum's feeling. Who has been trying to make over her face for the past 15 years of her life. That's it. Gee, can't you just feel the anger of this post? Hehehe. Well, stay tune for more angry updates. Love you guys!!
-dkm
Until one day, Izzat's ex-girlfriend aalia was from that school. The story that went around the school was about me and izzat. Something about Izzat was taken away by me from aalia. Childish shit like that. As you know the typical form 3 girls. I remembered when I was in form 3, I used to have a whole gang of friends. The only thing different was, my gang was full of guys. While theirs, are full of girls. Aalia has got friends which just can't shut their mouth. It all started this way. Aalia's bestfriend was a girl named fana. At first, she was one of the girls who bitch-ed about me. I found out about it and confronted her. (pure deena) Then, she admitted her faults and apologize. So I forgave her and started talking. She is indeed a sweet girl.
Then, going back to the earlier story. I made a comment about their school. How they sucked at the cheer comp. They got really ticked off about it. One of them by the name of FOFO, wrote a blog regarding me on friendster. Just to let everybody read it. Typical form 3 as I said before. Saying that im fat, this and that. The usual. So I figured, maybe she was pretty. As I opened her profile to look at her pictures, she looked like a bulldog which got rammed many times over the face. So I was laughing. Even though I'm laughing in the outside. I'm still angry at the fact she wrote that about me. The title of the blog is, Fuck Deena Katrina. She may want to think about what she has wrote. This could create a fight.
Hahaha. Little kids. As I think about it twice, I may not want to bring myself to her level. I find that her friends are very attractive. While she is stuck being the only ugly one there. What a pity? Oh well, lets leave it to her to find out about this blog. She may get mad and she may not. But she needs to watch out of who she's messing with. Don't want her ugly face to get uglier of course. It'll hurt her mum's feeling. Who has been trying to make over her face for the past 15 years of her life. That's it. Gee, can't you just feel the anger of this post? Hehehe. Well, stay tune for more angry updates. Love you guys!!
-dkm
A shout out..
A shout out to one of my best girlfriend in the world, Kalysa!! I want to wish her a very Happy Birthday! I love her so much and I wish everything would go how she wanted. I'm sorry that yoon gi had to leave today and it hurts even more to find out that he's coming back the day you're leaving to england. Well, I hope I could do something to make you happy. We'll have a little gathering tomorrow. Just us girls. Take care Kalysa. I love you so much!
-dkm
-dkm
Monday, August 01, 2005
Experience.
Have you ever experience the relationship with a guy when his own mum despises you? Well, I'm going through that. I won't say that its a whole lot of fun. I know that I love being hated and the bitchings are fun to hear. But if a mum hates you, it hits you badly at the heart. Not being welcome to the house hurts badly. I understand though.
More and more, I thought about this and I just love my life. Loving my life is one thing, but having Izzat by my side is another thing. I realized that, for this past week, I've been really cruel to him for no reason. Well, of course there is a reason but not really that reasonable. I'm glad that he was able to put up with my attitude. I'm quite surprised myself.
He wouldn't know how thankful I am to have him. I think i'm the luckiest girl. He is one amazing boy and I love him to death. Everything about him is so pure and just full of love. I may not know the real meaning of love but I could be experiencing it right now. They always say something about tears when you love somebody. Well, I've shed tears for Izzat. All of them are the one I won't regret. I don't know what else to say after the message he sent me last night. I am so touched. Every moment I spent with him is the moment that will always be remembered in life.
My bestfriend would know this. I would always want my handphone to be beside me. I can't live without it. But now, I don't care anymore. I don't really bring my handphone around. I just leave it everywhere in my house. I know it's selfish. Cuz, there will be people who would want to get through me. As long as I have Izzat beside me, I would just forget about handphones. I dont know why. He said that he could change me into a better person, but I love the way I am. I don't want to change. Instead, he told me something else. Well, that's it. It would be continued....
-dkm
More and more, I thought about this and I just love my life. Loving my life is one thing, but having Izzat by my side is another thing. I realized that, for this past week, I've been really cruel to him for no reason. Well, of course there is a reason but not really that reasonable. I'm glad that he was able to put up with my attitude. I'm quite surprised myself.
He wouldn't know how thankful I am to have him. I think i'm the luckiest girl. He is one amazing boy and I love him to death. Everything about him is so pure and just full of love. I may not know the real meaning of love but I could be experiencing it right now. They always say something about tears when you love somebody. Well, I've shed tears for Izzat. All of them are the one I won't regret. I don't know what else to say after the message he sent me last night. I am so touched. Every moment I spent with him is the moment that will always be remembered in life.
My bestfriend would know this. I would always want my handphone to be beside me. I can't live without it. But now, I don't care anymore. I don't really bring my handphone around. I just leave it everywhere in my house. I know it's selfish. Cuz, there will be people who would want to get through me. As long as I have Izzat beside me, I would just forget about handphones. I dont know why. He said that he could change me into a better person, but I love the way I am. I don't want to change. Instead, he told me something else. Well, that's it. It would be continued....
-dkm
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Cater To You..
Baby I See You Working Hard
I Want To Let You Know I'm Proud,
Let You Know That I Admire What You Do
The More If I Need To Reassure You, My Life Would Be Purposeless Without You (Yeah)
If I Want It (Got It)
When I Ask You (You Provide It)
You Inspire Me To Be Better
You Challenge Me For The Better
Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter
Let Me Help YouTake Off Your Shoes
Untie You Shoestrings Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I'll Aspire
Sing You A Song
Turn My Game On
I'll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy
[Chorus]
Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me AwayI Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want Just Let Me Cater To You
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All That I Want In A Man;I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want, I Want To Cater To You
Baby I'm Happy You're Home,
Let Me Hold You In My Arms
I Just Want To Take The Stress Away From You
Making Sure That I'm Doing My Part (Oh)
Boy Is There Something You Need Me To Do (Oh)
If You Want It (I Got It)
Say The Word (I Will Try It)
I Know Whatever I'm Not Fulfilling (Oh)
No Other Woman Is Willing (Oh)
I'm Going To Fulfill Your Mind, Body, And Spirit
I Promise You (Promise You)
I'll Keep Myself Up (Oh)
Remain The Same Chick (Yeah)
You Fell In Love With (Yeah)
I'll Keep It Tight, I'll Keep My Figure Right
I'll Keep My Hair Fixed, Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits
When You Come Home Late Tap Me On My Shoulder, I'll Roll Over
Baby I Heard You, I'm Here To Serve You (I'm Lovin It, I'm Lovin It)
If It's Love You Need, To Give It Is My Joy
All I Want To Do, Is Cater To You Boy
[Chorus]
I Want To Give You My Breath, My Strength, My Will To Be Here
That's The Least I Can Do,
Let Me Cater To You
Through The Good (Good)
The Bad (Through The Bad)
The Ups And Downs (Ups And Downs)
I'll Still Be Here For You
Let Me Cater To YouCause You're Beautiful (You're Beautiful)
I Love The Way You Are (You Are)
Fulfill Your Every Desire (Desire)
Your Wish Is My Command (Command)
I Want To Cater To My ManYour Heart (Your Heart)
So Pure Your Love Shines Through(Shines Through)
The Darkness We'll Get Through (So Much)
So Much Of Me Is You (Is You)
I Want To Cater To My Man
[Chorus]
-dkm
This song is dedicated to Mohd Izzat Hazim Bin Sabirin. I love you sayang. With al my heart. Warm and fuzzy kisses to you. If you ever read this.
I Want To Let You Know I'm Proud,
Let You Know That I Admire What You Do
The More If I Need To Reassure You, My Life Would Be Purposeless Without You (Yeah)
If I Want It (Got It)
When I Ask You (You Provide It)
You Inspire Me To Be Better
You Challenge Me For The Better
Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter
Let Me Help YouTake Off Your Shoes
Untie You Shoestrings Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I'll Aspire
Sing You A Song
Turn My Game On
I'll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy
[Chorus]
Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me AwayI Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want Just Let Me Cater To You
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All That I Want In A Man;I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want, I Want To Cater To You
Baby I'm Happy You're Home,
Let Me Hold You In My Arms
I Just Want To Take The Stress Away From You
Making Sure That I'm Doing My Part (Oh)
Boy Is There Something You Need Me To Do (Oh)
If You Want It (I Got It)
Say The Word (I Will Try It)
I Know Whatever I'm Not Fulfilling (Oh)
No Other Woman Is Willing (Oh)
I'm Going To Fulfill Your Mind, Body, And Spirit
I Promise You (Promise You)
I'll Keep Myself Up (Oh)
Remain The Same Chick (Yeah)
You Fell In Love With (Yeah)
I'll Keep It Tight, I'll Keep My Figure Right
I'll Keep My Hair Fixed, Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits
When You Come Home Late Tap Me On My Shoulder, I'll Roll Over
Baby I Heard You, I'm Here To Serve You (I'm Lovin It, I'm Lovin It)
If It's Love You Need, To Give It Is My Joy
All I Want To Do, Is Cater To You Boy
[Chorus]
I Want To Give You My Breath, My Strength, My Will To Be Here
That's The Least I Can Do,
Let Me Cater To You
Through The Good (Good)
The Bad (Through The Bad)
The Ups And Downs (Ups And Downs)
I'll Still Be Here For You
Let Me Cater To YouCause You're Beautiful (You're Beautiful)
I Love The Way You Are (You Are)
Fulfill Your Every Desire (Desire)
Your Wish Is My Command (Command)
I Want To Cater To My ManYour Heart (Your Heart)
So Pure Your Love Shines Through(Shines Through)
The Darkness We'll Get Through (So Much)
So Much Of Me Is You (Is You)
I Want To Cater To My Man
[Chorus]
-dkm
This song is dedicated to Mohd Izzat Hazim Bin Sabirin. I love you sayang. With al my heart. Warm and fuzzy kisses to you. If you ever read this.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Virginity..
Have I lost it? Hehe. Of course not. Virginity is something important to me. Many girls my age has lost it. Some of them lost it to the one they love with no regrets. For most of the girls, they lost it when they're not in the right state of mind. Under the influence of drugs or alcohol. I pity those people. They'll regret it for the rest of their lives. For boys, virginity isn't that important. It's not a big thing for them. They don't really lose anything.
I won't forget the girls that get rape and shit like that. I hope that thing stops. Especially the young ones.
Virginity is like your soul. Once you lose it, it shows that you are a new women. I don't know how you can tell whether you've lost it or not. I'm confused myself. Many people has had conversations about this. I have to admit that, I am tempted to try. But I need to control that in order to get through my life. My mum would kill me if I lose it. Thus, losing it at this age wouldn't be right. Not legal yet. Pregnancy is another thing. It's a really big thing.
You know how adults keep on telling us not to do it and stuff. Well, now I know the reason of them saying that. If we lose at this age, we won't be able to control ourselves if we enjoy the feeling. Look at it this way, if you enjoy something so much, would you stop doing it or would you do it again and again? It doesn't matter how strong you are. But if the feeling is so great, what you going to do?
I'm talking as if I've broke my virginity. But I finally understood what it's all about. I know this from stories I hear and conversations that was exchanged. It's really interesting. Sometimes, I ask my own sister about this kind of stuff. It's really sick at one point but interesting at another. I don't even know why I randomly talk about virginity. I was just thinking about it. Lately, I've been thinking about various type of things. I like it though. Well, going on to another subject.... the next post..
-dkm
I won't forget the girls that get rape and shit like that. I hope that thing stops. Especially the young ones.
Virginity is like your soul. Once you lose it, it shows that you are a new women. I don't know how you can tell whether you've lost it or not. I'm confused myself. Many people has had conversations about this. I have to admit that, I am tempted to try. But I need to control that in order to get through my life. My mum would kill me if I lose it. Thus, losing it at this age wouldn't be right. Not legal yet. Pregnancy is another thing. It's a really big thing.
You know how adults keep on telling us not to do it and stuff. Well, now I know the reason of them saying that. If we lose at this age, we won't be able to control ourselves if we enjoy the feeling. Look at it this way, if you enjoy something so much, would you stop doing it or would you do it again and again? It doesn't matter how strong you are. But if the feeling is so great, what you going to do?
I'm talking as if I've broke my virginity. But I finally understood what it's all about. I know this from stories I hear and conversations that was exchanged. It's really interesting. Sometimes, I ask my own sister about this kind of stuff. It's really sick at one point but interesting at another. I don't even know why I randomly talk about virginity. I was just thinking about it. Lately, I've been thinking about various type of things. I like it though. Well, going on to another subject.... the next post..
-dkm
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Glaring at you.
I sat there in the car, just staring at you. Thinking of how beautiful you were. Having my mind jumbled up because you were one in a million. Each day that passes by, I begin to love you more and more. You have given me hope, faith and so much more. Last night was one of those nights that would be remembered. I love the part where we were reminiscing the moments we've had in the past. I loved it. I will never forget that night that we watched that particular movie. It was really nice.
I have never felt this warm and fuzzy feeling in me. This is so amazing. I wished I could stay with you longer yesterday. But I had to leave you. I know that I didn't trust you driving. But you were indeed a very good driver. Smooth. I want to go for a road trip with you one day. There are so many things that I want to do with you. But we're both so busy with things at home. Plus, you're restricted to many things. I realized that you are still in form 3 and you've got PMR to finish with. I don't want to be the barrier of that examinations. I need to let you study. I know I'll miss you but I just need too.
Baby, as we sat in the car last night. We were listening to such a beautiful song. I thank god that I have you and you love me. I say it with a smile on my face. Everytime I see you, a smile naturally comes up to my face. My heart doesn't skip a beat anymore. What could this mean? I am so comfortable with you. I feel as if I can tell or show you anything I want. You are so sweet. Thank you for the flower you bought.
Remember what Aiman said. I guess that's all true. But it has it's limit, of course. I love you dearly. I hope this feeling in me would last till the day I die. I would be one of the happiest girl alive. I'll even be happier than the richest man or women on earth. That's how you make me feel. You make me feel so rich with the love you have showered on me. You have spoilt me with all the love you've provided. Isn't it amazing? Would you consider this excruciating? Maybe not. It's really sad how you are in school right now. If not, I would come over and see you. I'll curled up into your arms. While you're playing with my hair. Stroking it right. I love it. I just love all the things you do for me. I can't even count how many times you've made me feel this way. But I'm glad I have you. Love you sweetie. I actually have more in my mind. But ezzat is bothering me about some smiley thingy. I'll update more. That's for sure.
-dkm
I have never felt this warm and fuzzy feeling in me. This is so amazing. I wished I could stay with you longer yesterday. But I had to leave you. I know that I didn't trust you driving. But you were indeed a very good driver. Smooth. I want to go for a road trip with you one day. There are so many things that I want to do with you. But we're both so busy with things at home. Plus, you're restricted to many things. I realized that you are still in form 3 and you've got PMR to finish with. I don't want to be the barrier of that examinations. I need to let you study. I know I'll miss you but I just need too.
Baby, as we sat in the car last night. We were listening to such a beautiful song. I thank god that I have you and you love me. I say it with a smile on my face. Everytime I see you, a smile naturally comes up to my face. My heart doesn't skip a beat anymore. What could this mean? I am so comfortable with you. I feel as if I can tell or show you anything I want. You are so sweet. Thank you for the flower you bought.
Remember what Aiman said. I guess that's all true. But it has it's limit, of course. I love you dearly. I hope this feeling in me would last till the day I die. I would be one of the happiest girl alive. I'll even be happier than the richest man or women on earth. That's how you make me feel. You make me feel so rich with the love you have showered on me. You have spoilt me with all the love you've provided. Isn't it amazing? Would you consider this excruciating? Maybe not. It's really sad how you are in school right now. If not, I would come over and see you. I'll curled up into your arms. While you're playing with my hair. Stroking it right. I love it. I just love all the things you do for me. I can't even count how many times you've made me feel this way. But I'm glad I have you. Love you sweetie. I actually have more in my mind. But ezzat is bothering me about some smiley thingy. I'll update more. That's for sure.
-dkm
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
feellsss
I’m in such a mess. I feel really ill. I’ve been sick for the past two days. I don’t like it. Why doesn’t it happen when school is going on? I’m just lying on my bed and sniffing. Bits of tissues are everywhere in my room. Basically, I’m not the only one in a mess but my room too. I just got back from lunch with parents and grandparents. It was my granddad’s birthday. He is growing to be so old. I still love him though.
In the middle of the lunch, mama came up with the topic about my boyfriend. Saying that he’s a keeper and I shouldn’t break with him anytime soon. Quickly, my brother agreed to that. Well, I know a few days ago I wanted to break up with him. But if I do, I’ll make the biggest mistake of my life. I wouldn’t want that to happen. I don’t want to regret and go through depression because of my own mistakes.
Nothing interesting has been happening. One thing for sure is that, I’ve been drinking quite a lot the week before. I don’t know what got into me. It must be the season that I have. It’s funny how I have seasons to drink and not to drink. Last week was definitely a wild week for me. I loved it but I need to control myself. It’s called discipline too. Everyone must have self-control. It’s important in life.
Alright, I actually wrote this just because I was bored. I have nothing else to do at home. So, I decided to update my blog. Plus, I came up with a theory but I totally forgot what was it about. I hate it when that happens. *pfft* That’s it folks. More to come.. Stay tune!!
-dkm
In the middle of the lunch, mama came up with the topic about my boyfriend. Saying that he’s a keeper and I shouldn’t break with him anytime soon. Quickly, my brother agreed to that. Well, I know a few days ago I wanted to break up with him. But if I do, I’ll make the biggest mistake of my life. I wouldn’t want that to happen. I don’t want to regret and go through depression because of my own mistakes.
Nothing interesting has been happening. One thing for sure is that, I’ve been drinking quite a lot the week before. I don’t know what got into me. It must be the season that I have. It’s funny how I have seasons to drink and not to drink. Last week was definitely a wild week for me. I loved it but I need to control myself. It’s called discipline too. Everyone must have self-control. It’s important in life.
Alright, I actually wrote this just because I was bored. I have nothing else to do at home. So, I decided to update my blog. Plus, I came up with a theory but I totally forgot what was it about. I hate it when that happens. *pfft* That’s it folks. More to come.. Stay tune!!
-dkm
Monday, July 25, 2005
Peterpan - Mungkin Nanti
Saatnya ku berkata...
Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya..
Sudahlah lepaskan semua,
Ku yakin inilah waktunya.
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi,
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi
Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi…
Satu pintaku jangan
Kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini…
Dan bila hatimu termenung ,
Bangun dari mimpi – mimpimu,
Membuka hatimu yang dulu,
Cerita saat bersamaku.
Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi simpan saja untukmu sendiri,
semua saying kau cari,
semua rasa yang kau beri.
-dkm
Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya..
Sudahlah lepaskan semua,
Ku yakin inilah waktunya.
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi,
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi
Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi…
Satu pintaku jangan
Kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini…
Dan bila hatimu termenung ,
Bangun dari mimpi – mimpimu,
Membuka hatimu yang dulu,
Cerita saat bersamaku.
Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi simpan saja untukmu sendiri,
semua saying kau cari,
semua rasa yang kau beri.
-dkm
very much ponderinngg..
What is this I'm feeling? Love or Lust or just simply like? I read Farah's blog it was weird. I was reading it and it got really interesting. Right now, as I type this. I'm feeling really ill. My head is spinning and i've got a really bad flue. Not forgetting the terrible cough and fever.
For the past few days, I've been prefusely fighting with Izzat. I have no idea why. Sometimes, I wonder whether this is going to make our relationship stronger or could it bring us to the end? The only problem is that, no one would be able to answer this questions. I try to not think about it. But it keeps on coming into my mind.
My throat is killing me, I know it's one of the signs to stop smoking! I tried that many times. My family is very much disappointed with me because of that horrible habit. But think about it this way, if they were to smoke themselves. Wouldn't they understand how I feel towards nicotine? Yes, I know they're doing this for my own good. One day, I will stop. One thing for sure is, when I'm pregnant i'll definitely stop. No doubt about that.
I've been feeling so scrumptious lately. I don't know why. It could just be me being so perasan. But the feeling is nice. I just love the feeling. I can't actually describe the feeling. It's one of those feelings you can't describe. If you know what I mean. Some of the girls I saw the other day were pretty hot and tempting too. *phew*
Guess what? GUESS IS ON SALE!! I went to Klcc yesterday to just hang out with izzat and nura. I saw it. I was so happy. I quickly ran to the shop to ask what's going on. Apparently, they'll be on sale until 14th August. Yeah! Trust me, I'm happy and excited. Now, what I have to do is to try to suck up to my mum to by all the stuff I want from there.. The other day, I asked her politely whether she could bring me to Polo Ralph Lauren. I was actually shocked that she said yes. Maybe because of the way I approached her.
to be continued...
-dkm
For the past few days, I've been prefusely fighting with Izzat. I have no idea why. Sometimes, I wonder whether this is going to make our relationship stronger or could it bring us to the end? The only problem is that, no one would be able to answer this questions. I try to not think about it. But it keeps on coming into my mind.
My throat is killing me, I know it's one of the signs to stop smoking! I tried that many times. My family is very much disappointed with me because of that horrible habit. But think about it this way, if they were to smoke themselves. Wouldn't they understand how I feel towards nicotine? Yes, I know they're doing this for my own good. One day, I will stop. One thing for sure is, when I'm pregnant i'll definitely stop. No doubt about that.
I've been feeling so scrumptious lately. I don't know why. It could just be me being so perasan. But the feeling is nice. I just love the feeling. I can't actually describe the feeling. It's one of those feelings you can't describe. If you know what I mean. Some of the girls I saw the other day were pretty hot and tempting too. *phew*
Guess what? GUESS IS ON SALE!! I went to Klcc yesterday to just hang out with izzat and nura. I saw it. I was so happy. I quickly ran to the shop to ask what's going on. Apparently, they'll be on sale until 14th August. Yeah! Trust me, I'm happy and excited. Now, what I have to do is to try to suck up to my mum to by all the stuff I want from there.. The other day, I asked her politely whether she could bring me to Polo Ralph Lauren. I was actually shocked that she said yes. Maybe because of the way I approached her.
to be continued...
-dkm
*kisses, hugs, love and everything nice*
I was thinking about this when I was with Izzat. I thought about how lucky I am to have him. This is what I really feel and what I really think in my heart. He is just really amazing. As you know, I've broke my own record of going out with the SAME guy more than one month. To tell you the truth, it's almost two months. I know that some of my friends are proud of me. Thanks.
Izzat is just unreplaceable. I mean, he is patient and he is able to tolerate any bullshit from me. Although he does a lot of mistake. After a few days, I'll just forget about it and get on with life. He really does know how to appreciate me. A theory was said by my sister, a man who knows how to appreciate his food then he would know how to appreciate the person he loves.
I'm happy being with Izzat. Everytime I'm with him, I'll feel as if I'm on ecstasy. I won't say that he is my dream guy. But he does fit some of the description. He has done so much for me. I've never been able to say thank you to that. Izzat, if you're reading this. I want to tell you that I love you and thank you so much for EVERYTHING that you've done for me. I will never be able to repay you back. Things that you've done for me is just unbelieveable. Thank you so much baby. Sayang, I don't know what else to say to you. Just now that, I love you so much. I know I was with you like an hour ago. But I miss you a lot already.
Sorry for wrong things i've done or said. I know you get hurt sometime. But don't worry, I don't mean anything of the things I said. I promise. There are many promises that I'm suppose to keep. Please do remind me of it. I have short term memory loss. So therefore, it's really hard for me. Sayang, you are so amazing. I love you so so so much. I know that you wouldn't know that I'm writing this. But you'll find out soon. Just remember one thing, no matter what I love you. If I've said the word 'break up' too many times. Then I am terribly sorry. Many apologies are said. That's it Izzat. i love you!!!!!
-dkm
p.s: I love you Mohd Izzat Hazim!!!! More poems are going to come.
Izzat is just unreplaceable. I mean, he is patient and he is able to tolerate any bullshit from me. Although he does a lot of mistake. After a few days, I'll just forget about it and get on with life. He really does know how to appreciate me. A theory was said by my sister, a man who knows how to appreciate his food then he would know how to appreciate the person he loves.
I'm happy being with Izzat. Everytime I'm with him, I'll feel as if I'm on ecstasy. I won't say that he is my dream guy. But he does fit some of the description. He has done so much for me. I've never been able to say thank you to that. Izzat, if you're reading this. I want to tell you that I love you and thank you so much for EVERYTHING that you've done for me. I will never be able to repay you back. Things that you've done for me is just unbelieveable. Thank you so much baby. Sayang, I don't know what else to say to you. Just now that, I love you so much. I know I was with you like an hour ago. But I miss you a lot already.
Sorry for wrong things i've done or said. I know you get hurt sometime. But don't worry, I don't mean anything of the things I said. I promise. There are many promises that I'm suppose to keep. Please do remind me of it. I have short term memory loss. So therefore, it's really hard for me. Sayang, you are so amazing. I love you so so so much. I know that you wouldn't know that I'm writing this. But you'll find out soon. Just remember one thing, no matter what I love you. If I've said the word 'break up' too many times. Then I am terribly sorry. Many apologies are said. That's it Izzat. i love you!!!!!
-dkm
p.s: I love you Mohd Izzat Hazim!!!! More poems are going to come.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
++Kenduri++
Today is a big day for Mohd Ezzat Aiman. Which is my little brother. I'm proud to say that ezzat is not a wimp. He's not even a bit scared of the 'sunat'. He is quite relaxed about it.
Mama is having a big kenduri just for Ezzat. The amount of people coming are 250++. It's a really big thing for him. All of us had to contribute a hand to mama. To help out. The kenduri went well. Yazmin and I were like the flower girls. We were carrying basket full of petals and we had some flowery thinggyy on our hair. It was nice. We were all dressed up for it. We all went to the saloon to have our hair done. Then a make up artist came over to the house. So it was a really BIG thing. I had fun at the kenduri. With all my cousins, friends and neighbours. Well, that's it about the Kenduri.
p.s: Farah!! I told you that it wasnt a trick!! Even I was wearing so called baju kurung k!
-dkm
Mama is having a big kenduri just for Ezzat. The amount of people coming are 250++. It's a really big thing for him. All of us had to contribute a hand to mama. To help out. The kenduri went well. Yazmin and I were like the flower girls. We were carrying basket full of petals and we had some flowery thinggyy on our hair. It was nice. We were all dressed up for it. We all went to the saloon to have our hair done. Then a make up artist came over to the house. So it was a really BIG thing. I had fun at the kenduri. With all my cousins, friends and neighbours. Well, that's it about the Kenduri.
p.s: Farah!! I told you that it wasnt a trick!! Even I was wearing so called baju kurung k!
-dkm
Friday, July 22, 2005
whattt?
I give up. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. You're beginning to hurt me so much more. I'm having headaches just thinking about you. I can't concentrate on things I want to. I am fed up of the situation. I can't keep this fake smile on anymore. It's far too tiring for me. I love you so much. I really do. But this could bring 'us' to end. I don't know what's going on with you. I keep on making the decisions and I keep trying to patch things up. Nothing ever comes out of it. I'm not producing any results from this. Could this just be me? I'm not trying to give you shit or anything. But I really can't help it. Every night, you give me shit. I get hurt and get nightmares. I wake up being all tired and the next thing I know, I forget about everything and we're back to normal again. Everyday the same thing. I'm so tensed up.
I feel as if we're separated. Physically we're not but, spiritually we are. Sayang, why is it like this? Please help me. I don't know what to think. I'm so blank. I need help. Farah, if you're reading this. I need your help. I need some words from my girlfriends. I need it. Nothing can cure this. I can't keep on crying for the same thing. I don't like that. Worst, I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I'm numb. I can't stand this anymore. I am sorry. I would have to go back to self-mutilation. I need to. I'm weak again. I went back to who I was last time before I got with you.
-dkm
I feel as if we're separated. Physically we're not but, spiritually we are. Sayang, why is it like this? Please help me. I don't know what to think. I'm so blank. I need help. Farah, if you're reading this. I need your help. I need some words from my girlfriends. I need it. Nothing can cure this. I can't keep on crying for the same thing. I don't like that. Worst, I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I'm numb. I can't stand this anymore. I am sorry. I would have to go back to self-mutilation. I need to. I'm weak again. I went back to who I was last time before I got with you.
-dkm
Thursday, July 21, 2005
dysfunctional...
It is so normal for mums to screw up things for their daughter. The title doesn't really go with what i'm going to write in this post. But who cares? It's my post, not yours. My mum have got so many reasons. She's got so many excuses for everything. Thus, she always think that's she right. Most of the time, yeah she is right. Sometimes, she isn't. When I do fight back, she'll get all angry and tries to slap my face.
My family is considered dysfunctional. You may ask why? Well, let's start off by saying that my dad is a womenizer. My mum is going to have an affair soon. In my family, there are no secrets kept among us. We just let it out. Usually, that happens at dinner time. Trust me, at the dinner table it'll be really noisy. If someone says something wrong, it'll get into a big argument and everyone would just be quiet. If that happens, my dad would start throwing something at someone. It'll get all chaotic. Gee, what an embarassment to the public?
Eventhough we have this problem, I don't regret having this family by my side. No matter how crazy they are. They will always stick by your side. They are just fun and unique. I don't think you can find any other family which is like us. We're different and that's how I like it. This is such a random post.
-dkm
My family is considered dysfunctional. You may ask why? Well, let's start off by saying that my dad is a womenizer. My mum is going to have an affair soon. In my family, there are no secrets kept among us. We just let it out. Usually, that happens at dinner time. Trust me, at the dinner table it'll be really noisy. If someone says something wrong, it'll get into a big argument and everyone would just be quiet. If that happens, my dad would start throwing something at someone. It'll get all chaotic. Gee, what an embarassment to the public?
Eventhough we have this problem, I don't regret having this family by my side. No matter how crazy they are. They will always stick by your side. They are just fun and unique. I don't think you can find any other family which is like us. We're different and that's how I like it. This is such a random post.
-dkm