I cannot stand this feeling anymore. I haven’t done anything wrong to you. Why are you the one giving me the silent treatment? I was not the one that scolded you. It was your mum. If I’ve said something wrong, then just tell me straight up.
Our relationship has been so rocky. I know that I can’t expect us to be smooth sailing all the time. But it’s been rocky everyday. I don’t even feel the love anymore. I miss you so much baby. I can’t stand lying to myself. I need to tell you the truth. I’ve been thinking about you the whole day.
I have restricted myself from calling nor message you. I wanted to give you a bit of space. You can’t blame me for this; I’m still in shocked at the fact that your mum called me and spilt everything to me. She mentioned something about the lawyers and the custody.
I gathered, maybe you really need the space. I can’t keep on coming into your life. I need you to cooperate with me. You need to study. Take these commands as me loving you a lot. Not as an order. I want to see you excel in your studies. I would need you to do the same for me as my o’levels are approaching very close.
I don’t want to tell you that, while typing this in my blog I’m crying like a little baby wanting his or her mum. The amount of times I’ve cried for you are uncountable. I don’t want you to feel pity for me and come over to comfort me. I don’t want to be a distraction anymore.
I didn’t understand why you were being so cruel to me when I called just now. I was talking to you very nicely. Under normal circumstances, I would already start screaming and giving you a sounding of your life. You can’t blame me for something I didn’t know. I really need to take my mind of this. I can’t be having this while my exams are going on. I’ll go crazy.
I already have a few problems accumulating in my brain. I myself am trying to sort this thing out. Slowly I keep on thinking about it and listing down what I’m going to do about it. I sound like I’m a psycho but this is who I really am. I miss you so much. I can’t stand a day without you. But I guess, I won’t be seeing you for the next 2 months. Due to the reason being that your major exams are coming.
Don’t take me wrong sweetie. I really love you but we need to go on a break. Whether we do or don’t, the feeling would be the same. I won’t go running off to some other guy. After you’re done with the exams, I will be in front of you waiting with open arms. So, don’t keep on assuming that I am going to leave you.
We’ve shared so many things. Do you actually think that I’m going to ruined all of those? I won’t forget the intimate part of it. Who would have thought that we’d go that far ahead? I would never regret it. The feeling of it is amazing and mesmerizing. It’s just unexplainable. Now, I’m beginning to know what others are trying to say. It’s totally understandable why people loves it so much. I won’t question it any further. I wish you could read this.
-dkm
