Life sucks!

I hate my mum. Why does she have to be some a dumb bitch? Why can’t she just be a mum? I hate it when she talks to me with all the shouting and screaming. I just wish she lose her voice and she won’t be able to talk. You would figure that I’m typing this out of anger. But right now I don’t really care. I feel like running away from my house. I know for a fact that, it would do any good. It won’t make things any better. I hate my life now. My holidays are ruined by that stupid bitch. As I write this, I’m crying my eyes out. Papa was just talking to me all fine. Until my mum came and started her bitching. What is her problem? Just because I don’t talk to her as much as last time. The reason why I don’t talk to her that much is because she keeps on talking about my sister. I don’t like it. I mean, I don’t like my own family talking about the other members in the family. Why can’t she have some respect? She needs to respect one and another in order to get some respect from another person. My feelings right now is depressed. I’m grounded until my school starts. The only reason why I’m grounded is because I don’t participate doing my little brother’s party. I mean, she doesn’t wake me up and she wants to be all fucked up. Why can’t she just leave me alone? I hate her so much. Every time I talk to her, it has always been about my sister. I need my boyfriend so much now. I called him just now but I just couldn’t talk. I’m so upset. I hate my life! It has always been shit for me. All these years that I’ve lived, it has always been that when my love life is great, my family screws me up. Is it wrong for me not to want hear what my mum has to say about my sister. I know she’s bitter because I’m not close to her. I was surprised that my brother was trying to comfort me when he saw me crying. Which I still am crying right now. She is such a dumb bitch. There will never be a time that I love her to death. I’m only sixteen and she expect me to be twenty-one. She wants me to start working with my brother. She thinks it’s all good treating her family members like how she treats her stuff at the office. I don’t mind her controlling us like the business way. But there’s no need to be all over. Her mouth just can’t stop bitching. I HATE HER. I may be saying this out of anger. All I know is that, right now I really her. I need someone to talk to. But I really don’t know who to call. Izzat is at brewball, so I don’t want to disturb him. I can’t really talk. I really do feel like running away from my house. My mum always has something to say. She always think that she’s right. When I say she’s wrong, she’ll twist the story to make me the fool. What the hell does she think about my brains. She has to know that, I’m a deep thinker. She keeps on thinking that I’m a dumb girl. Maybe not dumb, like really stupid and pathetic. I’m not going to speak to her. I want to avoid her as much as I can. I’ll help with all the bullshit but that’ll be it. Nothing more. I hate the fact that she keeps on comparing herself with me. Who the hell does she think she is? I know she’s my mother and she had to go through nine months of labour. My dad says that he wants to disown me. The reason to that is because I’m useless. For heaven sake, I’m on holidays. It has always been about the boys in the family. She never does care about my sister and I. Just yesterday she said she only needs to worry about the boys in the family because the girls are already haywire. I don’t think so. She thinks that way because both my sister and I don’t talk to her. There’s nothing to talk about. We don’t have any of the same interest. So what is there to talk about. My sister is it? I wish she could read this but because of the other blogs, I can’t do that. This would be the longest thing I’ve wrote. But I really need to let it out. Tomorrow, I’m going to be all bitter towards her. I’ve always been the type of girl who doesn’t be angry for days. But we’ll see about it now. I’m not going to talk to her nor am I going to see her face. I’ll just stay in my room and just be all bitchy. Every time she talks to me, when she is angry at me. She will always prolong the whole conversation. And make everything a big deal. My dad of course would just go with her. As if he doesn’t have a brain of his own. But what to do, parent are like that. I’m not sure whether they’re doing this for my own good or not. I can’t do anything if I’m useless. They can’t expect me to be all perfect right. I wish I wasn’t born in this world. Why did my parents have me. My mum loves to screw up my life. She scolds me about if almost everything. I literally mean everything!! She loves talking about my sister. I have a feeling that she is intimidated by my sister. The reason to that is because, my sister has got her own way of thinking and she’s the only one that has the best heart. As for my mum, her way of thinking is pretty logical. But almost impossible. She thinks that she is so intelligent. Well, my ass!!! If she is so smart, then why doesn’t she think about how her daughters feel every time she talks about us. My brother used to be like that. Like exactly like her. Suddenly, he changed. Well, thank god for that. I don’t understand my mum. I would never. How can she be such a hypocrite to her own family. Isn’t that so pathetic. I mean, at least talk to us in front of our faces. She must be scared to do that. I’ve decided that, I’m going to go with the flow. Plus, I know that if my sister and I team up against our mother. We will win without a doubt. She is nothing compared to us. All she knows is screaming, screaming!! Doesn’t she have a life. I’m pretty immune to her shouting. My ear drums are numb. Sooner or later, I will become deaf because of her. She thinks my sister is weird. Soon enough, she’ll think the same about me. I can’t wait till that day comes. I’ll be so happy and I won’t stop laughing. It’ll be the best day of my life. She thinks we’re weird just because we don’t talk to her. I don’t know why I have a mother like this. She runs her family like she runs the business. To her, everything is about business. I learnt in Islamic class that, it’s wrong to run the family that way. It should be two separate things in life. My mum, of course does not understand that. She thinks she’s always right. Well, we’ll see soon enough. I’m sick and tired of listening to her lectures. It’s about the same bullshit. Why can’t she just spend time with me and try to listen to what I have to say. Then, maybe she would understand me. Instead, we need to adapt to her alone!! Does she think that the whole world revolves around her? Could this be a teenager life? Someone once told me that, once I reach sixteen I’ll be all fine and good. Well, in a few months I’ll be sixteen. We’ll see. If my life is still bitchy then I guess, the assumption that was made was wrong. Fuck that!! Why is this happening to me. What mistake have I made. Yes, I know I go out a lot. It’s because the school holidays. I had enough crying. My tears are really running cry. Should I just go with life and pretend as if nothing is happening. I guess so. What’s the point of being bitter for the rest of my life. No fun is that huh. I will remember this day. I was surprised that no one beat me up or anything. Papa sent me a message as if he wanted to whack me up. I hate my life right now. I won’t even get to see my boyfriend as much now. But I really am surprised that my dad didn’t even scream. He was just like talking to me very nicely. I’m really shocked!! But whatever ah…