Today was by far the worst day of my life. It started in the morning, I was crying from 7am to 2pm. Not many of you would believe it but I literally cried the whole day when I was in school. How can a person be so cruel and heartless? Do they ever think of what the other person might feel? Especially after you've shared so many memories with someone. It's sad how they can just ditch you aside and not feel anything. Not even sadness. I know I was a bitch, but as bitchy as I was I still had a soft spot for many people out there. I want to say thank you to two people who helped me a lot today in school. If it wasn't for them, I would have been in a hospital right now bleeding to death. Which I actually wish happened for me, because then I wouldn't have to see people in school. My feelings and emotions are so mixed up that I don't know what to do. I'm so weak and I have no more strenght to do anything. I'm not even sure whether I can pick myself up and tell myself to be happy again. Walking around with puffy eyes are the worst. I feel so lonely sometimes in school. I have nobody to talk to and nobody to manja with. It's so full of shit. This school is all about favouritism and dirty politics. Whatever they do, they will always hurt me. I'm so hurt beyond comprehension. Noone seems to care. But I found out that, there are people out there who cares for me. Which I never knew. I underestimated her so much. I want to say sorry to her. I want to say thank you for standing up for me against those people. I just lost my patience today, the pain that i've kept inside for the longest time, just came out from nowhere. I felt cutting myself with the blade i got from a grade 8 girl. Many of you would think that this would be the worst thing to do if you're in a dilemma. I know it is stupid and in the end I would regret it. But what else am i suppose to do when i cant think properly. I just wish the teachers and students weren't in the toilet with me. I just had the blade in my hand and I was ready to cut myself already. It was just there infront of me. I had no idea what I was waiting for. All i know is that i hate her so much. I cant believe she is doing this to me. But what goes around comes around. She will get the same medicine as i did. But i know she will get the one which would taste even more bitter. I hope she would stop being a gold-digger. I hope she stop sucking up to the rich ones just because she can't have money for herself. I hope people would realize who she really is. And i hope she would not smell anymore. I would pray to god for her to become better in the near future. I know I love her so much. But just fuck off from my life. Stop being a disturbance in my life. Stop ruining it for me. Ok.
-Dkm
