Hmmm... everyone is talking about huh? Somehow, I'm not at all surprised. They talk about everything that exist in this world. So what would make me any different from those things. Exams are coming near. Feel like pulling my hair off and knocking my head to the wall. So I could get some information and knowledge into it. Honestly, I havent studied that much. Plus, I'm very confident about failing my history and business. Hahahaha. No more social life for me after that. I'm becoming weirder as the day pass by. I get agitated so fast. The days are so gloomy. I've been very emotional and I dont really like it. I'll end up crying for the most petty little things that I see or hear. Its not easy to be 'deena'. As i found out recently, many year 7 & 8 wanted to be just like me. I'm not trying to show off or anything. But i'm writing about what I feel. Apparently, those people looked up on me and admired me for who I am and what ive achieved. Well, I take that as a compliment. But I wouldnt want them to become like me. Maybe, become like me as in my positive side. No actually, I dont want them to become like me at all. So going on with the news today...
In school, it was another interesting day. I had so much fun in history class. I was sitting on one chair and another chair for my leg. Play pretence as it was my own home. Made myself felt like a queen in that class. We were going through for what to study for our coming examinations. Its the last exams before our IGCSE. *argh* I cant wait to fail, get slap by my mum and get kicked out from the house. It's even possible for me to be disowned. Hahaha. No joke! Everyone was smiling at me. But some of their smile were fake. I knew that they were trying their best to smile. To those people out there, i want to tell them not to waste their time and energy to do that. Cuz ill be fine in the end.
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I cant wait till my baby finishes his school and get home. But that'll be an hour from now as i type this. I still have to say, that i love him so much. I adore him. I forgot to say one thing to those people out there, I'm sorry that you wont be able to see my miserable face again in school. I've got my life back and nothing can break it out. Not even that one person. (you know who you are). 2 weeks has passed by, and im still loyal. I'm so proud of myself. But is it worth being loyal to someone who has another person beside him? I mean, am i doing the right thing? Or would i just end up hurting myself more? Izzat kesayanganku, only you can answer my most dreadful questions. I dare not ask you straight to the face. You have intimidate me and controlled me. You are the first that i'm actually scared of. I know if i stay with you, ill go the right way. My day without you is so dead and long. Its true, try looking at it this way. When we were together yesterday, i felt as if i only spent about 2 hours with you. But it was half a day. Not really, but you know what i mean. I love you sayang.
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*lalalalallalalalaal*
farah my bestfriend, I love her to death. We were suppose to meet up yesterday but i ended up being alone. Because of waiting for her. Its fine tho. I mean, i think i did that to her once or twice. Wait a min! To think about it, ive never done that to her. But i have cancelled last minute. Thats before she left the house or something. but whatever it is, i feel that i miss my three gurls a lot.I havent seen them for a really long time. Soon enough, all of them are going to be busy with their own life and for me, im still stuck being a student in mutiara which is not so bright or sharp. sad isnt it? I need to hang out with them one day but yet i wont be satisfied. sooner or later, i know ill miss them again.
By the way, i have a message to convey to them....
Farah, Emma & Kalysa, eventhough i dont see you as much as i did last time. You guys will always be in my heart no matter what. Don't listen to what others have to say. I have learnt to be strong again, thanks to you gurls. I will always try to make time for you even if i have no more time left. It doesnt matter whether i'm hangin out with my boyfriend or not. Just come and meet me or give me a call. Whatever you need, I will always try to cater for you girls. You were the one that has stood beside me and picked me up again & again. I wanna thank you so much for that. Congragulation on graduating this year kaly and far. Unfortunately, ive still got one more year to go. Once i'm done, ill be joining your lives as college students. If you happen to leave somewhere to the overseas, then maybe we'll be drifted apart. But there's always something called the internet and the telephone. I'll be here to pick up that calls or just have a chat with you. I miss you girls so much. I feel as if i havent seen you for such a long long time. But its been only 1 or 2 weeks. Or maybe less. *sigh* Thats about it i guess. You know what i mean and what im trying to say. Take care and i love you!!
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-dkm.....
